Strawberries and Cigarettes ~ {h.s au}

chapter thirty four *

He moved his body next to hers, leaning up against the wall as her thumb lightly brushed the bruised knuckles. A chill was sent down his spine when she leaned into him, their shoulder knocking into one another. His body pulled to hers like a magnet, meeting her half way as he inhaled deeply.

The sweet smell of strawberries sending his scattered brain into clarity.

His words were soft, so soft that he almost missed them entirely when they left his lips, "My dad died today."

He felt her body shift next to his, her thumb completing stopping in its tracks as she turned to him. She crossed her legs over one another, her hand still holding his as her body faced his. "Harry," she said softly, but was cut off by his voice stopping her in her tracks.

"He was a bad guy, Marley. He was a really fucking bad guy," he said slowly, his head looking down at their hands intertwined with one another, seemingly the only thing keeping him sane.

"Are you okay," she whispered, moving her body closer so their knees touched ever so slightly. "What can I do?"

"There's nothing you can do, blue. He got what he deserved. I'm surprised they didn't kill him sooner, you know what happens to people in prison who beat their wives and rape their kids, Marley? He should've been dead a long fucking time ago."

The words came out his mouth faster than he could control. He had never admitted to anyone before what his father had done. Sure there had been paper clippings and local newscast covering their fathers arrest, but he had never been able to say it out loud before.

He hadn't realized what left his heart shaped lips until he heard a small gasp escape hers, he had said too much now and there was no going back.

"Are you okay?" She whispered again, this time in a way that made him think she already knew the answer.

He looked up at her, her eyes wide and full of such compassion that Harry almost leaned over and kissed her right then and there... almost.

He simply shook his head, trying his hardest not to break down in front of her. For years he had kept it all together, trying his hardest to be the person everyone saw him as. He would rather have them fear him than have them thinking he was some messed up kid with a fucked up childhood.

He couldn't find the words to say, his mind lasping circles around his brain as he tried to process his thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't just tell her everything like he wanted too. So instead, his brain just repeated the same phrase over and over again.

"He was a really bad guy, blue."

She stayed silent for a moment, her hand tightening around his as she exhaled deeply. Her thumb started the gentle pattern it had before, stroking his battered knuckles lightly as she said, "You don't have to tell me, Harry. We can just sit here for as long as you want and if you're ready, you can tell me. But don't force yourself to tell me if it's going to hurt more than keeping it in."

He looked up at her as if she had single handley placed each star in the sky, as if she was the reason why the grass was green. He looked at her as if she was the sunshine that peaked through the clouds after a terrible storm. Because in that moment she was.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as he leaned his head onto her shoulder, taking comfort in the simple fact she was there with him. He knew if he had gone home he would've spiraled, that he would've gotten as drunk as he could to numb the hell out of everything he was feeling right now. But then he remembered how much she hated the smell of beer, and somehow ended up at her house instead.