In between love and death《Zhanyi version》

Chapter 29

Wang Yibo's POV

"Many things I do in my life is for my mother-" Zhan avoided my eyes while he fumbled with the blanket.

"But why? She treats you horribly . . ." Zhan slowly nodded before speaking up again, "I know, but she's also the one that brought me up alone as a single mother." I was immediately taken aback by this revelation, but Zhan continued, "my parents split up when I was young, the stress of it was too much for her, and she takes it out on me, nothing physically . . . But a lot of her words aren't very nice." He sighed.

"Still, as a child, I thought she cared enough not to send me off to an orphanage," Zhan said and I nodded, taking his words into consideration, "that's why your reasoning for putting up with her?"

Zhan looked up, his eyes carrying a saddening glance that made me tear up, "Yibo, she was my only family member left, I can't help but feel I should be nice to her."

"I still can't understand why she is so harsh with you-" Zhan shook his head, "she was nice to me after I became an actor, she was suddenly kind to me when I sent her money after my first acting job, so did a lot of people, it felt nice to be loved by many, but then I realized, it was all superficial. It wasn't me that they liked, it was the money I made."

Zhan let out a long, tired sigh and rubbed the back os his neck, "at one point, I got tired of them all, everything just felt empty and fake, I pulled myself away from that crowd and just focused on my career, but I can't just cut ties with my mother, I thought the least I could do is having a meaningful connection with her."

"But it didn't work out?" Zhan smiled sadly, shaking his head, "backfired immediately, she went back to her harsh words the moment I gave her less money, I tried to be nice to her, but since nothing worked . . . I just gave up. That's the part of the reason why I said what I said at the accident site, I am so tired, Yibo." He ruffled a hand through his hair, "I just can't see a way out of this." I placed a finger on his lips to stop him.

"If you say anything about dying again, we will have another long argument," I said while Zhan shook his head with a small honest smile creeping up his lips.

"Haha, then the nurse will kick you out first," Zhan said while I pouted, "not until I get it through your thick skull that we don't want you to leave so soon!"

"Stubborn boy." We shared a warm smile, but I could see sadness setting in his eyes again, "then tell me how to get out of this vicious cycle, I'm really lost, Yibo." Zhan's smile was so broken that I felt teary again.

"Have you ever imagined yourself the way you wanted to be? I love imagining myself as braver and stronger, with more money . . . Hehehe." Zhan placed his hand on mine, "haha, isn't that what you are right now?"

"Ahh . . . Only sometimes, and it usually backfires, don't you think?" I pouted while Zhan unconsciously tangled our fingers, "not in my eyes, I think it's the best part of you." I pushed down a rising blush, changing the subject back to him.

"S-So, have you ever thought about that? Just what you want, not the expectations of your mother or anyone else around you." Zhan was deep in thoughts for a moment before speaking up, slowly, "huh . . . I never really thought about it before, why are you suddenly asking this?"

"Call it a gut feeling, but I believe if you can figure this out, then it will be your answer to get out of that vicious cycle, can you promise me that you'll tell me the answer one day?" I held up my pinky with a hopeful smile, Zhan stared at me for a moment.

"You really can't stop surprising me, Yibo." He wrapped his pinky around mine, sealing another little promise, "I hope I can answer it soon." I smiled, "I'll wait patiently for that day to come." I could see Zhan's eyes start to get heavy.

"Are you feeling sleepy, Zhan?" He yawned, not letting go of my hand, "I guess the medicine has finally kicked in."

"I see, I'll leave you to rest then." I was getting up from the bed to let him sleep, but his hand stopped me, "w-wait . . .Do you mind staying with me?"

"Of course, I am supposed to watch over you." I giggled while Zhan shook his head, "n-no, I mean . . . Sleep next to me on this bed." Zhan looked away awkwardly, a tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"A-Are you sure? Y-You're not high on medicine, are you?" The blush kept spreading over Zhan's cheeks, "I-I guess my request is rather strange, it's fine if you're uncomfortable, Yibo, I just enjoy your company, that's all . . ."

The sincerity in his eyes pushed me to say something I never knew was inside of my heart, "I-I . . . Really enjoy your company too, Zhan. B-Besides, I have to follow my boss' orders, right?" I joked a little to get rid of my nervousness, but I just sound even shakier.

Zhan gently pulled my hand, so I sat back on the bed, "not a boss tonight, a special request from a . . . Friend?" I smiled, lying on the hospital bed next to him.

My heart was racing like mad at how close our bodies were, even if I tried to look anywhere else, my gaze just went back to his deep brown eyes, Zhan stared at me for a long moment until my heart couldn't take it anymore.

"Is there something on my face?"

"Yes, your eyes, they're stunning . . ." I hit his chest lightly, laughing a little, "did you get that from a role you played before?"

"Admittedly, I did, but . . . I didn't know I would ever actually mean those words." I bite my lip, trying to hide my growing blush, "they're plain, and you know it."

"Not to me, you're a real mystery, you've kept surprising me from the moment we met till now, mysterious boy." I pouted, "I don't understand why you keep calling me that."

Yibo looked at the ceiling, giving it a bit of thought, "well, I've had insomnia for a while, right?"

"yes, and we got into a huge fight over it." Zhan smiled sheepishly at my teasing smile, "I find myself falling asleep much easier when I'm next to you, I don't know what power you have over me, but . . . I just feel . . . Safe and warm being next to you like this . . . Am I being too honest?"

Word count: 1231 words

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