Ephemeral

February 12, 2021 (part2)

[A/N: Trigger warning: please read with care. Some content may be unhealthy for some readers.

PS. I used English language in this story to practice my vocabulary. Should you notice some grammar errors, I'm very willing to be corrected. Teehee.]

Story begins here:

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I whacked her room open only to see her eating apple and having fun with her mom. They were shock seeing me in an I-wake-up-like-this getup. My uneasiness flew when I heard Lily say "DJ?"

Lily was sitting in her bed with her feet dangling, not touching the ground. She was in a yellow hospital gown with an oxygen hose on her nose and a dextrose swinging slowly as she put down her hands with an apple to see me properly. Her hair was messily tied up and her right cheeks were bulged from the apple she just bit.

I walked slowly, not sure what I'm feeling.

Her mom stood up and said "I'll give you this moment" as she tidied up the table whilst Lily was whinning, saying don't leave her in an uwu-tone.

Her mom stopped in front of me and said, "I'm angry that you left Lily at the garden, yesterday." I stooped down as I heard Lily shouted "Mom!"

Then she continued, "But I'll give you a chance..." I looked up to her to see her smiling and Lily answered in another uwu-tone, "Mom, you're embarrassing me..." But as if she didn't hear her, she went out, closing the door behind.

I looked around the room, pretending I didn't see her last message. Her bed was bended high with oxygen tank on the side and a cardiac monitor machine on the other. I sat beside her and we remained silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry..." We both uttered at the same time, making us stare for a moment, and laugh at each other. A sound of laugh that faded off to a comfortable silence.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid." She uttered. "I was in a daze. I wanted everyone to remember how I laugh, how I smile and yet, it feels like all will just forget me after I'm gone. I said all that as I let that thoughts take over me. I'm so sorry..."

I hushed her and said "I know you didn't mean what you said yesterday" I mumbled. "Or even if you mean those, I don't care, I will still keep coming back..." I paused and looked at her "Until I prove you that this is not for my own benefit. Until you get well that you don't have to think all of that."

"Thank you..." She whispered.

"No." I answered. "Thank you."

The curtains danced fancily with a friendly breeze and the widely opened window welcomed the laughter of the children from the garden as it entered Lily's room. I would want to bring her to the garden to let her see the children having fun, but today, we couldn't. She needed oxygen support and her heart was being monitored.

"But why are you in your pajama? Is that a new trend" She teased.

"Well, blame it on your message!" I pouted. "I thought you were already saying goodbye." I poked her forehead as she laughed, saying "Can you do that cute pout again?" while I said "No." as I let her tease me.

She may not remember it, but she gave me a place when I'm alone. "I'll be here until you have decided to tell me your name," how those words saved me from a pitfall without noticing it. "Am I with the real you today?" She found me in the dark when even myself couldn't find me. "There are ways to feel good without hurting yourself," She's always saving me from my own thoughts. "I love you, DJ" I want to live for her.

"Stay..." I mumbled in the middle of our teasing conversation.

"What?" She said before realising what I was saying.