Ephemeral

January 31, 2021

[A/N: Trigger warning: please read with care. Some content may be unhealthy for some readers.

PS. I used English language in this story to practice my vocabulary. Should you notice some grammar errors, I'm very willing to be corrected. Teehee.]

Story begins here:

~~~~

January 31, 2021.

I woke up thinking what could have happen if I jumped off the bridge?

If only I was not interrupted by that girl.

"I'll be here again tomorrow. I'll wait until you have decided to tell me your name..."

Even if I tell her my name, it'll only be useless after nine days. And that doesn't mean I'm down to meet her in plaza again.

9 days before killing myself.

After a long tiring day wherein everyone struggles to survive a fake, cruel society while kissing each other's foot and spitting it behind, I went up the bridge's metal bar again. I wonder how people still have the will to be alive, where are they getting those from? or are they just like me who secretly want to die, already?

I watched as the night covered the city with darkness and people light up their houses one by one making it twinkle like the stars.

Suddenly, I heard a bark.

I turned my head to see Kimberly walking near me while holding a pomeranian. She was wearing a plain white shirt and a jogger pants with hair tied up, showing her long hair.

"I knew it. You're here." She said.

"Why are you here?" I asked turning my head to its original view.

I don't want her here, it's like invading my personal space.

"Xiuxiu wanted to meet you so I brought him along." then she leaned on the bridge's metal bar and looked down.

"It's deep, huh." said she and then, looked at me. I could even feel her gaze staying at me. "Do you plan to jump now?"

I did not respond.

"Can you jump a little bit later when Xiuxiu's not around? It can cause her trauma." She said patting her dog.

"Then why did you bring him?" I asked.

"I told you, he wanted to meet you!" She seems angry. Not angry angry but cheeky angry because I literally ignored her answer to my what are you doing here question.

"You don't have to worry for your dog. I'm not going to jump yet. I'm just here to feel it."

"Does it feel good?" She asked.

"Yes."
"Then, can I try?"

Shocked with her response, I looked at her and asked, "Do you want to die?"
"No." She answered. "I want to live."

"Then, you don't have to try this. You might fall and die." I answered as I searched for the horizon hiding in the dark.

I must admit it, talking to someone who don't know me feels like new, wherein I don't have to force myself and I can answer and not, depending on my will.

But she's nosy.

"But why are you doing it? You might also fall and die right now..."
It's as if she was saying it so I wouldn't  try to fall right in front of her puppy.

Xiuxiu was looking at me innocently, so I answered, "It's okay, I'm just a useless, worthless nobody."

She massaged Xiuxiu's fur and without looking at me, she asked, "Do you want to die?"