Accidentally In Love // Raura

Epilogue

I start replaying that awful day in my head. It started so perfect how could it end up like that? I think back to me waking up and Ross not being there but then hearing him singng in the kitchen. Now when I wake up he's not there but there is no singing coming from the kitchen. I think to us cuddling and how he promised we would be back there later. We should have never gone to that cafe, it's bad luck. I think about the beach and our intimate shower together. I think about the conversation about our future.

I think back to our last kiss, touch, everything. What happens if that morning was the last time I got cuddled by him? What if that shower was the last time I got kissed by him? What if when he got out of the car was the last time I ever got touched by him? What if that was the last time I ever saw him alive? I know this might be weird but I'm jealous of someone who saw him walking past on the street with a smile on his face while he was on the phone to me, still alive and still happy.

I think to now. How everything has turned out. How extremely unhappy I am. Then again things could be worse, much worse.

Ross is in a coma and had been for the last four months. He's not improving, but he isn't getting worse either. He is staying the same and there is no signs of anything. I don't know if I should be glad for now or worried.

When Ross wasn't replying over the phone I thought nothing of it but when I heard that loud crash I had this feeling in my stomach that something wasn't okay, and I was right. It was both the driver of the car and Ross' fault that this happened. Ross wasn't paying attention and wasn't completly focused on where he was walking. The driver also wasn't paying attention and was going over the speed limit. Ross got serious head injuries, among other things, and he is lucky to be alive but why do I feel anything but luck?

I open my eyes and my vision is blurred. What would be a nice tree above me is now a blurred mess. It's only a matter of time before the tears start rolling out of my eyes. And once they start they don't stop. I lay there on the bench crying until I can't cry anymore. This is usually how I spend my days. I know it isn't healthy but I'm afraid if I leave something will happen, but when I don't leave this is what happens.

Eventually the tears are stopping and my eyes are red like never before. I sit up and look down on the ground. This helps get my breathing back to normal.

"Laura, there you are." Rydel surprises me.

I look up at her forgetting about my state and what I look like. Her face goes into shock and she rushes over to me when she sees me. She immediately starts comforting me. This makes me feel even worse. I feel like I'm taking all the attention away. Ross' family is going through the same thing as me and I'm not there for them at all. I keep to myself unless they catch me in this state then they come rushing to my rescue.

"Rydel stop." I say trying to get away.

"Why?" She asks worried.

"I'm fine. You need to stop wasting your energy on me."

Rydel seemed amused when I spoke. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm being selfish." I mange to say. My breathing pattern isn't back to normal and there is still some tears.

Rydel looks at me speechless. She looks like she really didn't know what to say. I'm not being unreasonable here.

"That's it I'm taking you home with me so you can get some sleep ." Rydel demands.

"I said I was going home in a little bit, I'm fine." I lie.

"Laura, I know when you say you're going home you just come here. I see you and you lay here for hours rather crying or staring off into space. You need to get some sleep and have decent food. Sleeping in the hospital chairs everyday can not be good. When is the last time you slept on a bed?"