the outsiders ✰ imagines

sinking ♡ dallas winston

pairing: dallas winston x reader (5/?)

summary: in which y/n reflects on the memories she had with dallas before their relationship

a/n: holy shit i didnt expect to reack 181k but ty <33
sorry for not updating, my mental health is not at its best rn but i hope you all have been doing well

also, this is definitely not the last part. im not sure when i'll update again (i have ap work) but ill do my best :)

im sorry if this doesnt meet ur expectations of the last few chapters. like i mentioned before, i dont consider myself to be a part of the fandom and it can be challenging to write something u dont have interest in. ty for understanding
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then:

"i didn't know you were an alcoholic ." a sly grin elicited a playful eye roll from her as dallas took his drink to his lips.

"don't be dramatic, it's just one drink, dallas," she joked.

tonight was quiet and cool, unlike the other summer nights in tulsa. as much as y/n loved going out in a group on the weekends, she adored exhausting her time with solely a friend or two.

she hoped dallas couldn't see right through her and how nervous she really was. she had never felt this kind of infatuation towards anyone she met in the past. to her, he was like an enigma– there was something more to him than he let on.

"you wanna get out of here? it's getting boring."

there was no way she could say no to his smile.

—

they told each other secrets they've never said in hushed voices, just above a whisper. she had never laughed as much as she did this night and for once, y/n didn't feel overburdened.

and she hoped dallas felt the same way.

with his jacket around her, they started walking back to her house, y/n hoping that her parents weren't awake.

y/n suddenly found herself gettin closer to dallas, their noses less than a centimeter from touching. a grin adorned her face as her hand was instinctively placed on the side of his cheek.

with a gentle caress to her cheek, he inquired, "can i kiss you?".

a soft laugh escaped her lips before she leaned in. her hand kept its place on his cheek while the other landed on his chest. dallas moved even closer as they're lips moved in sync, the kiss lasting for a few more moments until they parted.

y/n feels even more nervousness surrounding her and she can sense that dallas feels the exact same way. a laugh ensues and it's so contagious that he joins in before they continue walking to her house.

if only she knew that it would end.

—

now:

she didn't want to leave tulsa. despite it's unrelieved appearance, she knew she would miss her friends. but while all darry, evie, and the rest had done nothing but support her, all she did in return was leave. when she stopped coming over, afraid that she would have to see dallas, constant phone calls were the only things that kept her apartment from being completely noiseless. y/n was gone for almost four months, believing that they simply forgot about her and she didn't blame them at all. however, she hoped transferring to a different college would lead her to a path with more opportunities.

a knock came from the door and she made a beeline to open it.

"dallas," his name felt foreign on y/n's tongue, as she held the door open for him. the pair fortuitously made eye contact, an expression of unfamiliarity becoming apparent on her face. her lips parted once she had truly realized that the person she had hoped to come back was at her door. it came to a stop when she spoke up. "what are you doing here?"

the tone in her voice wasn't condescending, instead it came off as more curious. as much as she wanted to hold him, she couldn't let herself eagerly be with him. in the end, she remembered how insignificant she was to dallas before their relationship ended. still her words left dallas speechless. he hadn't seen anyone more beautiful than her.

"your sweater," he handed it to her. she gingerly grabbed it, being careful to not make contact with his hand in a subtle manner. "you left it and since your place was on the way, i just decided to give it back." y/n wanted to laugh at how obviously nervous dallas was which was far from the front he typically put up.

"thanks," she responded blatantly. after all the time she had spent with dallas, she didn't even know what to say. she scoffed at the thought and wondered if he was feeling the same tension as she was. "come in, it's getting cold."while they were far from close, she didn't want to be inconsiderate. however, she had knowledge of the fact that dallas had an ulterior motive.

surprised, he comes in, peering into her apartment. it looks almost exactly as how he remembered. despite the copious amount of times he had visited, it all appeared to be foreign to him.

"so," she started, finally addressing the elephant in the room, "why are you really here, dallas?" he doesn't answer for a few moments, not to think about an answer per se, but to comprehend the fact that he drove to his ex's apartment, thinking he would get her back.

"they haven't seen you in awhile, y/n, what's going on?"

"if they really said anything, they would've went to me. besides, it's not your business so why are you really here?" her tone was cold, far different from how she usually responded.

"i missed you, but more importantly, everyone else misses you."

"dallas," she sighed, the volume of her voice lowering, endeavoring to keep her tone devoid of emotion.  "we both know it's really not about evie or anyone. and you can't just do this to your girlfriend." there was so much she wanted to say. thoughts began to cloud her mind as she kept her gaze on dallas. 

"there isn't really much i can do," he replied blatantly. "we broke up."

"you shouldn't have- i'm sure you and her did more good than i ever could with you. i just..." there was nothing for her to say. without a doubt, she wanted to be with dallas again now that he was so close but with trepidation, she didn't want to get hurt again. moreover, she didn't want to hurt dallas again. 

"i love you, dallas. i always will." she confessed, attempting to keep her tears at bay."but i don't think i can do this. not when we said so much stuff we regret." she couldn't believe she had let herself say that. at this point, y/n couldn't even bear to look at dallas anymore who was utterly dumbfounded. 

"y/n," he began until he was interrupted. 

"i don't wanna hear anything else. i think it's best if you leave." she knew if he had repeated the same words she said, she would find herself going back to him. in all honesty, she didn't even know if admitting to her feelings for dallas was the smartest decision she made-- neither with pushing him out just like she had done to everyone. 

she just hoped everything would turn out for the better in the end.