Back to Me (Book Three ✓)

twenty-four

I smile appreciatively but still can't get a word in between her ramblings.

"That is ... I mean, you're keeping it?" Gemma watches me intently, almost buzzing beside me, her excited energy sort of infectious.

I nod slowly.

"And Beau... knows?"

I nod again.

"He wants the baby, too?" Gemma clarifies, eyes narrowing at me suspiciously. I know the feeling.

Biting back my smile, I nod, feeling like my head will fall right off. "That's what he says."

That's all she needs. Instantly, Gemma is on her feet, bouncing up and down, shaking our glasses on the coffee table with her excitement.

"Oh my God! Emmie! You're having a baby!" Her blonde hair covers her face as she dances about. "I'm going to be an aunt! We're having a baby!"

Her reaction makes me wonder why I waited so long to tell her, her joy wrapping me up in a warm blanket, her excitement making my fears seem smaller. We are having a baby - I press my palm to my belly - and I am excited. For the first time in awhile, I feel like I can take a deep breath and just enjoy the fact that pretty soon, I'll have a tiny Beau baby to hold and love. Forever.

"Wait." Gemma halts her giddy leaps and turns to face me again. "You said it's complicated - do I have to find Beau and kick his ass?" She settles beside me, resting her cheek on my shoulder.

"No," I laugh, my excited butterflies fluttering away as longing ache takes their place. "It's just that it's him and it's me and we always do the same things again and again." I sniffle. "It always hurts... But now there's the baby and so we're just trying to be friends."

I sigh and feel Gemma do the same beside me, letting the word hang in the air, repeating again and again in my mind.

Friends. Friends is good, responsible.

Finally, Gemma peers up at me and asks the hardest question. "You're still in love with him, though, aren't you?"

Nestling my cheek against the top of her head, I feel the sad smile pulling at my lips. There's no point in lying to my best friend, or to myself.

"Yeah, Gem. I think I am."

We're quiet for a moment, letting the confession marinate. I've known since the day he found me after rehab - the feelings are never going to go away. It's not that I don't want Beau - it's that I do, so very badly - that scares me.

"Hey," Gemma shifts and takes my face in between her hands. "You've got me, okay? No matter what happens, I'm here for you. And I already love this little cherub," She moves one hand to my belly, "So no worries. We've got this."

I wrap her in a hug, my insides feeling warm and content despite the craziness of my situation, and thank her, blonde strands getting caught in my mouth as I do.

"Okay, okay." I mumble, disentangling myself finally and wiping my eyes of the happy tears that have collected there. Pushing Beau from my mind, I change the subject. "Let's relax before we have to get ready for tonight - how about that show we started last weekend?"