I'm Fine

Chapter 14

I know I'm slow I'm just for some reason extremely depressed and I genuinely don't know how to live as of now because uh- I think my emotions are letting themselves out in way???? I really don't fucking like it and it's uncomfortable and I think I may be getting worse 😌 enough with my rant onto the chapter no ones been waiting for-
Izukus POV

I crack my eyes open, closing them again because of the light. I recall memories from yesterday and last night. Ah yes I think I'm still in todos bed which is really fucking comfortable like what-. Besides that I crack my eyes opened for the second time, this time rubbing the crust from my eyes and adjusting from the light slowly getting up and stretching. I'm assuming todo woke up since the bed is kinda still warm.

I yawn looking around seeing my stuff. I swing my legs off the bed going towards my bag with stuff in it. I quietly get my toothbrush and toothpaste and some clothes then walk to the bathroom; it was right next to todos room so I don't have to worry about seeing anyone just yet. I quietly close the bathroom door put my things on the counter. I look in the mirror and-

"Holy shit-" I mumble to myself. I look like complete, well shit. I turn on the sink and splash my face with water kinda rubbing it in. I guess that's from all the crying. That and in general I haven't really taken care in myself since then.

I sigh no point in dwelling on it I probably always look like shit either way. I change my clothes into a simple long sleeve shirt with some cargo pants, there both a bit baggy but I rather it like that. I'm unreasonably thin and it looks disgusting.

I shake my head. I should think better of myself sure I don't deserve to be treated as a queen but I should at least treat myself as human. (So should everyone else who thinks less of themselves or else I will break into your house and love you till you love yourself damnit) I sigh once again and brush my teeth thinking about wether I should stop bothering todo and find someplace else to stay.

Then my thoughts go to my mom. (Not me having to read my book to see if I did anything with inko and shit cuz I forgot)(also not me taking a whole fucking two days to read and catch up cuz my adhd ass can't sit still cuz I didn't get into reading it till I killed off Inko which actually represented my mom so I basically killed off my mom in some way which sounds weird I swear I don't hate my mom tho I just have some anger towards her cuz of how she treats me I'm talking to much I'm sorry continue)

I think about my mom. I haven't even thought about her in that long yet it's only been a literal day. Do I really have any right to be content with life? Shouldn't I be in some back ally becoming a villain because I turned bitter because of how cruel the fucking world is. Well that may be a bit of my imagination running wild but it could happen. It probably has consider all the people. Then I remember.

Flashback
I wake up dizzy, my head pulsing. It's worse then any migraine I've ever had. I open my heavy eyes. I almost want to close them seeing the scene in front of me.

Blood. And my mother her hand reaching towards me. I grab it but it's colder then normal.I push myself closer towards her my voice shaking.

"Don't go."
"Mom please"
"I'm so sorry"
"Stay with me"
I keep repeating these phrases as if I'm repenting for all my wrong doings.

I hear the sirens coming closer as I hold my moms hand, constantly feeling colder. I know she's still alive. She's breathing shallowly but it keeps getting quieter. Please save her. I think. If there's any god out there please, just don't take her away. I don't think I'll know how to deal with this cruel fucking world without her.

Don't take her away, I think as I'm dragged away from my mom and put on a stretcher. Dont take her away. I keep thinking as I lose consciousness slowly.
~end of flashback~