Two Truths and a Lie

Chapter 21

Small TW of that night so chapter 10.

"Phillip I-I-don't know what you're talking about."

I pull up my nightgown and composure as I try to keep something together. Why was he up this late? Did he hear us? I hope he didn't hear us.

"Mom it's fine. I know."

Crap.

"Know what exactly? There are a lot of things you don't know Phillip, you're going to have to be more specific."

"I know what father does to you."

Dang it.

"I'm sorry Phillip for finding out this way. I've should have told you before. We both agreed to not throw you into the problem, but I guess that didn't work out."

"I mean I found out a couple of years ago, so neither of you didn't know I knew either."

"WAIT HOW?!"

(Phillip's POV)

"I was only 7, but I figured it out after I heard the shouting."

It wasn't on purpose; I wasn't spying on my parents. It was only 1 a.m. and I had a nightmare a couple of minutes before.

I wished I stayed in that nightmare compared to what I've heard.

+++++++++++++
I walked up to the bench in front of my parents room. I was deciding whether or not I would bother them with my scary dream.

I went up to knock (because why not? They would understand, they were my parents) but before I could land the first one, I heard muffle arguments. They were my parents.

Angelica: "John we shouldn't do this tonight. He's been waking up in the middle of the night lately, what if he hears?"

John: "He won't. He's only seven, plus you were in the mood two days ago, what's the difference?"

Angelica: "The difference is I don't want to. I've changed my mind."

John: "You can't just ChAngE your mind?!"

Soon it got quiet, then it picked up again.

Angelica: "I said—"

Then a loud sound was made and someone I assumed was my mother started talking, but this time she sounded terrified.

I decided not to try and knock anymore. I wanted to head back to my room, but my feet wouldn't let me move. I was stuck in fear and curiosity. I hate being like this.

Angelica: "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!"

John: "BECAUSE I CAN! YOU'RE MY WIFE; IT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!"

Angelica: "BUT YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU DO THINGS LIKE THIS! I FEEL DISGUSTING WHEN YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!"

John: "You seemed to like it before. Like the first time."

Angelica: "DID I?! CAUSE I EXPLICITLY REMEMBER YOU BREAKING INTO MY BEDROOM AND PUSHING YOURSELF INTO ME AFTER I TOLD YOU NO."

John: "THERE YOU GO BEING DRAMATIC ONCE MORE!"

My mother screamed back, yet this time her shouts were muffling the fact that she was about to sob. I've never heard her like this before. I don't like it.

Angelica: "HOW MANY TIMES DO I EXPLAIN THIS!?! I. Did. Not. Enjoy. It. That night you took everything from me in a matter of seconds. YOU RAPED ME WITHOUT HESITATION!! The only good thing from that night was Phillip."

My father suddenly exhaled a large huff and the two started speaking calmly again.

John: "We can't keep fighting like this."

Angelica: "I agree; but don't change the subject because you know I'm right. We wouldn't be in this position if you hadn't—"

John: "..."

Angelica: "Why did you do that to me? We were perfectly fine. Why did you have to hurt me like that? Why do you continue to harm me in that way?"

Suddenly something or someone rustled around the room, yet then my mother's voice came back with a sharper, cold and calm tone.

"Don't touch me."

They stopped talking and it went completely silent. I ran back to my room as quickly and as quietly as I could to avoid getting caught. But when I reached there I realized that I was actually crying. I didn't want to be loud because I didn't want to explain what I heard and I certainly didn't want it to get worse. So I cried into my pillow. 👍

What happened between them? What's rape and why would my dad do that? Is it my fault my mom is still with him, unhappy? Did I cause this? They never fought before, was this new? Do they even love each other?

In one night I questioned my entire existence at 7.

After that night I didn't know what to do. I wanted to speak to my mom about it, but the words never seemed to come out. Instead I hid what I knew and I gained nightmares every night. Now they were about my parents and what might happened if it had gotten worse—

What was awful was the fact when I learned what those words meant; I was horrified.
+++++++++++

"Phillip why didn't you tell me this?"

My mother stares at me dismayed at what I just told her. I expected some sort of reaction, but not one so frightening.

"I don't know why. I wanted to but it seemed irrelevant at the time."

"IRRELEVANT?! Nothing is irrelevant, especially when it gives you night terrors. Phillip I can't imagine what you've been through; but it certainly needs to be addressed. Do you still get them?"

So that's what they're called. Night terrors...

"Not as much, but they do still happen."

She continues to look at me with concern and exhaustion in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and proceeds to hug as if she believes this is her fault.

But it's not.

It's his. She knows that right?

Suddenly she breaks down once more and I do too. Now I know we look silly standing in front of a bathroom door shaking and crying our past out,
but I think we both need this.

In the midst of it all, she tells me:

"Phillip I promise you it will get better. There is no way in h**l I'm letting you get hurt again."

AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHH
THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SWEET YET SO TERRIBLE WRITING TRAUMA FOR A SEVEN YEAR OLD 🥲

AHHHHH
SEE U SOON