How Dare You [ReidxReader]

(23) Reparation

It's been three days since your last case. Turning in your bed, you try to shake off your nightmares and go back to sleep. The unsub trying to stab Reid and you knocking him out was a close call. Too close for comfort. Scenarios of it going wrong replay in your head. You feel the stinging of the cut on the site of your arm and it reinforces the thoughts of Spencer getting hurt.

At some point you turn on the light and sit up in your bed. It's not even 1 a.m. Your heart is still pounding hart and you cannot get rid of the feeling that Spencer is getting hurt. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you grab your phone.

Your thumb hovers over the call button. Taking a deep breath, you press it and listen to the ringing tone. Hopefully, you don't wake him up. He told you that he usually stays up past midnight to...

"Emily?" Spencer's voice is high pitched, as if he were likewise panicked and surprised.

You clear your throat: "Are you alright?"

"I-" You can hear him put down a book and stand up. "Yeah, I'm okay."

You let out a relieved sigh. Audibly, Spencer is pacing around his apartment.

"What makes you ask that?"

Hesitantly, you tell him: "I, ehm, I had a recurring nightmare."

"Oh." He stops walking. "What about?" His voice is so quiet, like he is afraid you will hang up if he talks too much.

"You. Being stabbed." You whisper.

Spencer audibly inhales: "By the unsub you took down?"

"Yes." You rub your face with one hand. "Sorry, I called this late. I didn't know how else to convince me that you're okay."

"No, don't apologize." Spencer tells you.

After that it's quiet. Neither of you say something. Neither of you hang up.

Eventually, Spencer whispers: "I miss you."

You close your eyes to keep yourself from crying.

"Good night." You tell him and hang up.

- - - - - - - - - -

Conflict is brewing inside of you. You're still hurt by what Spencer did. You're still ashamed. But you're also angry. Angry at your abductors. They destroyed something precious. Again. You don't want to get them get away with it. Again.

This morning when Spencer brings you your coffee, you still don't say anything, but you smile. Over the last two weeks, he never once missed bringing you your morning coffee. Even when you were on the case, he found a Starbucks somewhere and brought you one.

The hair on the sides of his head got a little longer and it looks really good. It blends in better with the hair on top of his head. His eyes light up when he sees you smile at him. Spencer smiles back and walks over to his desk.

It's a slow day, but you're thankful that you don't get called on a case. You're already stressed out enough. When it's time to go, you stay behind to finish up a file. Spencer leaves with the others, looking at you while the doors of the elevator close.

Hotchner comes out of his office half an hour later. He sees you still sitting at your desk and walks over. Standing next to you, he tells you: "You should go home."

You look up at him for a second: "I'm almost done."

"Are you doing okay?" Hotchner asks.

Surprised, you turn your chair around, seeing him leaning on the desk next to you.