How Dare You [ReidxReader]

(13) Show and Tell

note: TW implication of forced drug use/torture

Your mind is still racing, but you calmed down enough to get a hold of the situation. Spencer has been sitting on the ground next to you for about ten minutes, continuously talking to you to help you stay grounded.

Then, a minute ago, something else left his lips. It made you stare at him. Unsure, if you heard him right. You raise your hand to turn off the water.

"What did you say?" Your voice is raspy.

Spencer tries to avoid your gaze, instead he gets up and offers you his hands. Right now, you're too exhausted to push the subject.

Your legs are all wobbly when you get out the tub. The wet clothes cling to your body and weigh you down. You point in the direction of a small dresser. Spencer understands and goes to get a towel.

You turn around and start to take off your clothes. They make a loud splashing sound when you throw them into the bathtub. It takes you a lot of effort, but you manage to strip down to your underwear. You hear Spencer inhale sharply when he turns back to hand you the towel. The visual of all the scars on your back and legs must be distressing.

You only turn your head and hold out your hand. He leans forward without stepping closer and gives you the towel. His eyes wander down your arm and he looks at the scarred track marks again. Quickly, you take the towel and put it around yourself. When you fully turn to him, you see that his cheeks are flushed.

For a moment, you just stare at each other. Neither of you moving a muscle.

You open your mouth, but you don't know what to say first. Instead, you just walk past him and to your bedroom. Without a word Spencer follows you. When you get out fresh underwear, he suddenly becomes aware of the situation and turns around, mumbling a: "Sorry."

You throw the towel away and put on some pajamas.

"You can look."

Slowly, he turns back around.

You see the sadness in his eyes. Like the first time you looked into them, but now it's more on the surface.

"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but why are you here?"

"Your phone was off, and then your car was gone. I walked around the neighborhood to look for you. When I came back to your apartment, I saw the car and came up here."

You just stare at him in pure disbelieve. With furrowed eyebrows and a trembling voice, you ask: "You looked for me?"

Spencer fumbles with his hands: "I couldn't sleep because I was confused about our conversation. Why you left. I- I have two possible explanations, and either of them require me talking to you."

You sit down on your bed and Spencer leans against the dresser in front of you.

"What are your explanations?" You almost whisper.

He clears his voice: "First, you think I didn't want you to help me and was uncomfortable with you around. Second, you...I-" Spencer runs his fingers through his hair.

"I- you said I overwhelmed you. Of course, I thought you were uncomfortable. What else could you mean?" You tilt your head and replay the conversation in your head.

He props his hands up on the edge of the dresser and taps his fingers against it. "That's the second possibility."

Spencer takes a deep breath and stares at the floor: "I meant...I- I meant that I am overwhelmed by your kindness and thoughtfulness and courage." He clears his voice and looks you in the eyes: "I thought, maybe, you don't like me as much and left because you don't want me to feel like that and...I don't know."