the blind side of love | chaennie

forty-eight

"Tell her that I'm not going to step off this plane and announce to the press that I'm a lesbian. But that I'm also no longer going to go out of my way to hide it or tell lies to conceal it. I'm done with all of that." Jennie nodded, feeling content with this assertion.

Jisoo sighed and shook her head. "I just don't want you to get so wrapped up in this relationship that you make decisions you can't undo."

"It's not about the relationship," Jennie said. "Not entirely. My grandmother was right. I need to figure out who I am. I need to figure out who I want to be when I'm no longer a star. I don't want to look back on my life and see that I was the sort of person that put their career ahead of the people they love." She shrugged. "And as far as decisions that can't be undone ... well, I'm gay. With or without Rosie I'm still gay. The world will just have to get over it. I'm so tired of caring about what other people think. It's exhausting. Besides, that's what I hired you people for, to worry for me."

Jisoo stared at her for a long time. Then she shook her head with a sigh. "Honestly, I don't know whether to yell at you or hug you. The manager side of me has a really big headache. But the friend part of me is actually really happy to hear you talk like this. Look, I'll meet with Wendy. And I'll get back to you with her full-on freak out. And then ... then we'll figure something out. Okay?"

"Sounds good."

"Good. Can we change the subject now?"

"Please."

Jisoo leaned closer. "What do you think of me signing Lisa?"

"Signing Lisa to do what?"

"You know, to represent her. She doesn't have a manager. The way I figure it is: if you can hire your girlfriend's sister's girlfriend to be your assistant, then I can see if your girlfriend's best friend will hire me as her manager. That way, when you and Roseanne get caught in the middle of a Lord of the Rings themed orgy and your career goes belly up, I'll have something to fall back on."

Jennie laughed and gently elbowed Jisoo. "Go away."

Jisoo laughed and got up, passing Roseanne on her way down the aisle. Jennie smiled. "Hey."

Roseanne grinned and slid into the seat beside her. "Hey." She gazed after Jisoo, watching as she joined the others. When she turned back to Jennie, she looked serious. "Everything okay?"

The question was vague enough that Jennie could have dismissed it. For a moment, she considered the pros of steering the conversation toward a lighter subject matter. But in the end, she said, "Are you okay with me not dating Kai anymore?"

Roseanne laughed. "What?"

"I told Jisoo I didn't want to lie anymore," Jennie said. "You know, about me; out there, in the real world. Like, not blurt it all out or anything, but not hide it, either. Does that make sense?" She looked into Roseanne's brown eyes in the hopes of finding a trace of understanding.

"Sort of." Roseanne looked thoughtful. "Is this about me? You know I can handle it, right? If you need to pretend I'm your cousin or something."

"But I don't want you to be my cousin. Do you want to be my cousin?"

"No. But this isn't about me."

"It is," Jennie said, worried suddenly that Roseanne didn't understand. "It is about you, Rosie. Everything I do is going to affect you. So, I need us to be on the same page. If you want us to be super careful, then tell me."

"What's the alternative? Are you going to start kissing me in public?"

Jennie smiled. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe we'll host a Lord of the Rings themed orgy."