the blind side of love | chaennie

fourteen

"Hey," he said, by way of greeting, and Roseanne glanced up from her sketch pad to see Jungkook looking down at her. "I've tried calling you."

Roseanne looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I know."

He lit a cigarette and sat down beside her on the bench. For a long time, neither of them said anything. Jungkook seemed content to watch the other students pass by, and Roseanne didn't know what to tell him.

"How was class?" he said finally.

Roseanne drew in a breath. "Look, Jungkook, about the other night—"

"I forgive you," he said.

"Forgive me?" Roseanne said, stunned. "I'm not apologizing."

"You totally flew off the handle there, Roseanne. I think an 'I'm sorry' wouldn't be out of order." He flicked his cigarette. "First you embarrass me in front of your family—"

"Wait, wait, how did I embarrass you?"

"You didn't warn me that the subject of Alice was suddenly taboo. We're a couple. We're supposed to tell each other things like, 'Hey, my sister is a lesbian now. Don't go bringing her up at dinner.'" He flicked his cigarette again, and Roseanne watched the ashes fall to the ground.

Roseanne stared at Jungkook's profile, torn between screaming at him and hitting him with her notebook. How was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? "I meant it when I said we were over," she said at last. "I don't want to be with you anymore."

Jungkook looked at her. "Don't be stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"You might think you're so high and mighty with your little paintings, but what are you going to do with your life, huh, Roseanne? You break up with me, and who's going to help you pay for all the stuff you can't afford on your own? 'Oh, hey, Jungkook, I'm a little short for art supplies, could you spot me?' or 'Hey, Jungkook, our cable got shut off again'."

"I have never asked you for money," Roseanne said, trying to keep her voice even.

"Yeah, but you were all too happy to accept when I offered. And I always offered." He tossed the cigarette on the ground and turned his body to face her. "I've been there for you and your family every step of the way. When Ryujin got thrown in jail for whatever stupid stunt she pulled, who put up the bail money, huh? Me. When your parents' car stalled, who bought them a new battery? Me."

"They've always paid you back," Roseanne said. "And why do you always make everything about money? You think I've stayed with you all of this time because of your money?"

"I'm sure it didn't hurt."


"You're deluded."


"Then why did you?"


"Because I loved you," Roseanne said softly.


Jungkook looked away. "And you don't anymore. Is that it?"

"I'm not in love with you anymore, no."

Jungkook nodded slowly. "I guess there's nothing else for me to say, then." He stood.

"Wait," Roseanne said, and dug in her bag for her cell phone. "You should probably have this back."

Jungkook took the object in his hands and stared down at it. After a moment, he swung his arm back and threw the phone against the wall next to them. It shattered into several pieces and scattered across the ground.

Several people stopped to stare in their direction.
"For the record," he said, "I still love you," and with that, he walked away.

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