the blind side of love | chaennie

nineteen

When Lisa came back from her audition, Roseanne was finishing her email to Jane. Either she'd been typing for longer than she'd thought, or Lisa's audition had ended early. She kept her gaze on the screen until the email disappeared from her Outbox. Then she slammed close the laptop and turned halfway around to look into the kitchen.

Lisa was staring into the refrigerator. "We seriously need to go shopping. All we have is left over Chinese from who knows how long ago and beer." She pulled out a bottle of beer and closed the door.

"That was a fast audition."

Lisa uncapped the beer and tossed the cap into the trash, then walked over. "It was a nightmare."

"The boring kind of nightmare, or the interesting, let-me-make-some-popcorn kind?"

Lisa took a long sip and plopped down beside Roseanne. "Definitely the popcorn kind." Then she smiled. "If we had any."

"I'll settle for the story then." She made herself comfortable. "Shoot."

"Well. Let's see. First, it took me forever just to find the building because nobody knew of Clairmont Theater and even though I had the address I kept missing the place because I didn't realize I was actually looking for an apartment building."

"Okay..."

"And not even a fancy one. No. That apartment building makes ours look luxurious. Anyway, I walked into 'Clairmont Theater', went up to the third floor, as per the instructions, and knocked on door 312. By that point, I was starting to get the idea that this was not quite what I was hoping for. But, I figured, an audition is an audition. So, I knocked and waited. And waited. Finally, the door opened and suddenly there was a man standing there wearing ... cut-off shorts."

Roseanne held back a laugh. "Just cut-offs?"

"Just cut-offs. He was holding a can of beer in one hand, and looking me up and down like I was the stripper he'd sent for."

She laughed then. "That's insane. What'd you do?"

"Well ... he asked me if I was there for the audition. At first I thought of saying I had the wrong door, cause seriously... " She laughed. "...but then I said yeah, and he invited me in. At that point, I started digging into my bag for mace, just in case. Anyway, I followed him into this tiny little living room only to find ... a really hot naked guy."

"What?"

"Totally naked. Totally hot. Long story short, it was an audition for a porn video."

Roseanne blinked. "Okay. Please tell me that you didn't actually participate in..."

Lisa snorted. "Of course not, Roseanne. I am a serious actress. I got into Juilliard. I have talent coming out of my ass. And if my slut of a mother hadn't cheated on my father and my idiot of a father hadn't set fire to the house and my entire life hadn't fallen into chaos ... well ... I'd be in a much better place career-wise right now. But no. I'm answering calls for porn videos instead."

Roseanne touched Lisa's arm lightly.
Lisa took a deep breath and smiled. "The good news is, I got that guy's number."

Roseanne dropped her arm. "The one in the cut-offs?"

"Ha! No, no... the naked one."


"You're going to date a porn star?"

"Hell no." Lisa laughed and put the bottle of beer on the coffee table. "I could never date a guy who sleeps with women for a living. I'm just going to have sex with him next Friday. Then I can cross 'sleep with a porn star' off my life's to-do list." She stopped to consider. "Although, I don't even know if this guy's big enough."