the blind side of love | chaennie

thirty-eight

Roseanne lay in bed, sleepy but sleepless. She'd bought coffee on her way home from Jennie's, and that had been a mistake. She closed her eyes as her mind wandered back to the actress. Roseanne felt desperate to dissect every minute detail of this situation. She wanted to think of every question so that every question could be answered. Jennie was Jane and Jane was Jennie. It all seemed impossible.

Her thoughts drifted, dancing along the edges of her consciousness. Random images floated through her mind: a pen, a flower, a volleyball. She thought she might finally fall asleep. But then the actress' face popped back into her mind.

Jennie Kim was gay. It was this that Roseanne came back to. It was this she was having the hardest time believing. She wanted not to focus on what should've been a trivial matter. After all, Roseanne was not the sort of person that cared about the private lives of celebrities. It should have been an afterthought. But Jennie Kim was gay and Roseanne could not get past it. She couldn't get past the actress admitting to it in the first place.

How much would information like that be worth to the media? Probably a lot. And Jennie Kim trusted Roseanne not to tell.

The thoughts wandered again. Jane was Jennie. Did that mean that Jennie had really never dated anyone? It seemed inconceivable. What of Kai Kim? And who was Saucy Fipbic? Someone Roseanne might recognize? It felt like detective work, piecing together all of the vague details from Jane's emails and trying to make sense of them against the backdrop of Jennie's life. She couldn't remember Saucy's real name and it was driving Roseanne insane.

She opened her eyes and reached over the edge of the bed to get the laptop. She silently berated herself, but that didn't stop her. Moments later she was entering keywords into a search engine. Jennie had been in New York in December and if Roseanne recalled correctly that's when the date with Saucy had occurred.

It took some time and quite a lot of clicking around from link to link and blog to blog but eventually she found what she'd been looking for. The blog post title read: "Jennie Kim Samples New York's Fine Cuisine" and there was a candid picture of the actress standing next to a beautiful blonde. The article beneath the photo said, "Jennie Kim dines out with writer-director/ex-Broadway star, Irene Bae, at New York's Gray's Papaya."

The article went on, but Roseanne stopped reading. She stared at the picture for a long time. So that was Saucy Fipbic. Not at all what Roseanne had pictured. The Saucy in her mind had always been somewhat plain and pimply, with shaved, boyish hair and maybe an excessive number of piercings. But Irene Bae was anything but plain or pimply, and her hair was long and straight and perfectly styled. The two of them made a stunning couple.

But were they a couple? Roseanne went back into her email archives to see if she'd somehow missed an email or two pertaining to the current status of Jennie and Irene's relationship. The last Roseanne had on the subject was an email in which Saucy had been named the queen of mixed signals. "Hmm," said Roseanne, switching back to her Internet browser.

Finding information about Irene Bae was easier than Roseanne had expected. The woman was everywhere, even Tumblr. Her details there read: single, lesbian. Roseanne spent some time looking at random pictures and reading people's comments before deciding she'd done enough stalking for the day.

Roseanne jumped when the door to her room opened suddenly. Heart pounding fast, she frowned at Lisa. "Please learn to knock," she said.

"Oh whatever, like you're ever in here doing anything naughty." Lisa leaned against the doorway. "You look like crap. Have you slept?"

Roseanne placed the laptop back on the floor and yawned. She shook her head by way of an answer.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone in a sec, then. Are you busy tonight?"