the blind side of love | chaennie

thirty-seven

Roseanne's face revealed nothing of her thoughts, and Jennie had no idea what was going on behind those beautiful brown eyes.

"Why not?" She met Jennie's gaze. "What do you want me to say? That it's okay? That I understand? Well, it's not okay and I don't understand. So I think it's for the best if I go."

Jennie's vision blurred with tears and she looked away. She wouldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of Roseanne. "Okay," she said, forcing the emotions out of her voice. Roseanne passed by her and Jennie turned to watch her go. A part of her hoped that Roseanne would turn around and say something else, something to soften the blow of the departure. But she didn't.

The front door echoed through the apartment as it slammed shut.

-

Roseanne couldn't remember getting back home. She couldn't remember anything beyond walking out of Jennie Kim's apartment. And now she was standing in front of her door, staring at the number as if it might suddenly come to life and make everything better. She sighed and unlocked the door. She could hear music coming from Lisa's bedroom the moment she stepped inside and she suddenly regretted coming home.

She almost turned around to head back out, but Lisa wandered out of her room at that very moment.

"Oh, you're back," Lisa said cheerfully. "Guess what?"

Roseanne kicked the door closed and tried not to sigh at her best friend. "What?"

"Irene Bae called to invite me to a party." Lisa all but bounced as she said this. "And because I'm the greatest friend in the whole world, I asked if I could bring you, and she said yes!"

Roseanne had never felt more depressed. "A party?"

Lisa was grinning. "Yeah! For the movie. The whole cast's going to be there."

That was all Roseanne needed: a party with Jennie Kim. "Thanks, but I'll pass." She brushed against Lisa as she passed.

"I'm sorry, was I speaking Chinese just now?" Lisa trailed after Roseanne. "This is a big deal."

"Yes, for you it's a big deal." Roseanne was in an awful mood and Lisa wasn't helping. She shouldn't have come home. She should've gone for a walk through the park or stopped for coffee somewhere. Once in her room, she began removing her coat.

Lisa leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. "What's wrong?"

Roseanne dropped her scarf on the bed and took a deep breath. She considered, for the briefest of moments, telling Lisa everything that had just happened. But Roseanne wasn't altogether certain what had happened, other than she'd simultaneously lost an employer and what appeared to be an imaginary friend. "Just stupid people in the subway pissing me off," she said instead.

"Yes, but I guarantee none of them are invited to Irene Bae's party," Lisa said, and smiled.

Roseanne forced a smile in return. Lisa didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Roseanne's bad mood.

"Look, the party isn't until Saturday and hopefully by then you'll be free of cramps and PMS."

"Lisa, I hate parties. You know I hate parties. Why would you drag me to this?"

"Because this isn't just a party, Roseanne. This is a celebrity gathering. Forget stupid college parties. Those are way behind us now. We're stepping into an entirely new world of social interaction."

Roseanne dropped down on the bed. "Fine," she said, not meaning it. On Saturday she'd come down with a migraine. Or a cold. Or whatever would get her out of having to go.