𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦, thomas (tmr)

Chapter Nineteen

"It's just a bunch of klunk." She murmured, not really wanting to explain it to someone she barely knew.

But Thomas was listening with the quietest intent and the kindest mind; making Clara feel like she could talk about something she had tried to supress in Glader conversation for so long. It's not that she didn't trust the boys to be serious about it; it's just that they're not always the best at reacting to deeper topics.

"When I was a Runner, I also ran this place."

"Like as the leader?" Thomas asked in awe, his wide eyes fixed on her.

She nodded, ducking her head away to summon up some courage. When she looked back up, she found that Thomas was still watching in that same curious way; but she didn't feel nervous to tell him.

"Our old first-in-command, Nick, he got stuck out in the Maze. He was my best friend, so I wanted to become a Runner and get out of here for him."

She paused, thinking of the boy.

"One day, I was running the Maze, and I found something new. This big open area that I had never seen before. Before I could go in and look, a Griever-"

Her voice wavered then, and she had to shake her head to stop tears from surfacing. Nick died only weeks ago. She got attacked only weeks ago. She thought she found a way out only weeks ago.

"A Griever attacked me and knocked me out. It didn't Sting me, and then Minho found me and took me back to the Glade. Alby and Newt thought it best that I stop Running, and temporarily step down as leader."

Shrugging, Clara didn't give Thomas a moment to respond before she continued.

"I decided to let Alby just continue as leader, cause things got too much. And now, despite knowing the Maze well, and having experience as a leader; Alby won't let me do anything." She huffed, feeling deflated.

Thomas had been nodding thoughtfully as she spoke, and now she was quiet again, he was thinking hard of a way to reassure her. He wasn't really one for words, but he was one for making people feel better.

"I don't know if this means anything, but-" He paused, flushing red, but Clara only watched him curiously. "You're a leader, to me, at least."

It took less than a second for a smile to begin growing on her lips. From Thomas' sympathetic - not pitying - expression and his affirming words, she could feel butterflies beginning to swirl in her stomach. When he met her eyes with a shy smile, she had to look away to stop her heart exploding out of her chest.

It was then that Clara realised she wasn't just appreciating Thomas' pretty face. She liked him.

And unlike with Nick, who she was never certain about anything with, she was sure about this. Throughout all of her time in the Glade, she had never felt like this. Thomas made her nervous like no one ever had before, and it was frustrating her that she didn't know how to act.

Shuck, I really do like him.

She had no idea how her feelings had grown so quickly, when Thomas had been in the Glade for only a few days. But that's the thing: it felt like she had known him for years.

Flushing suddenly, Clara stumbled over her words and hurriedly shunned Thomas back to his work. She cursed consistently under her breath for letting herself catch feelings for someone, as if it was something she could control.

She was on edge the entire day; doing her best to avoid Thomas and therefore avoid her feelings. She supposed it was her fault it happened. With all the joking to Newt about how she found him attractive, she must have caused it to happen.