The love we share

Chapter 4

Shit, I had forgotten we had an award show.

"Okay I'll just have a shower then we can go" she nods her head and walks away.

................................

"Finally where the hell have you been!" Soyeon shouts as we arrive.

"Traffic" is all I let out moving to my seat so the stylist and makeup artist can get to work.

My eyes look to the mirror next to me, shuhuas eyes are closed and like usual she's hating the process of putting makeup on. My mind runs back to what just happened moments ago, yes it was great but I can tell this isn't her first time being with women. I'm agitated by the thought of Shuhua with somebody that isn't me, I want to know who she did it with. I've known this girl since she was 16 and to my knowledge, she's never been with anyone.

But I shouldn't be shocked since I was in a secret relationship, she broke my heart and made me the way I am today. I won't let anyone hurt me as she did.

"Soojin."

"Soojin."

"SOOJIN" Soyeon shouts.

"Yah! What"

"Are you okay, you've been out of it since you came here?"

She's right my minds not here. I pull my eyes away from shuhua and face the concerned Soyeon.

"I'm fine, just nervous about seeing pentagon I don't want people to start talking about us again"

I sigh, it's the truth if I even make eye contact in their direction no matter what the people are gonna speculate that were back together and all the drama will resurface. We weren't even together for long, a few photos get leaked that aren't even bad and all the negative attention on me. I love my job but this is the dark side of becoming an idol, you belong to the people and they don't like it when somebody else has you. That's part of the reason I won't let myself be with Shuhua the backlash me and her would get is too much of a risk to take, me and Hui's scandal would be nothing compared to shuhua and I. It's a cruel world but we chose it and I could never forgive myself if Shuhua got hurt.

"Don't worry management have seated us so we won't even be able to see them. Don't think about that right now let's focus on the awards tonight and hopefully winning something." I nod my head, soyeon always knows how to calm me down.

"Let's get going girls!" Our manager says.

I want to ask shuhua about her past with people, I've just realised now that we've never talked about it. I'm displeased with myself that I didn't even bother to ask, I just assumed that she's been with nobody.

........................

"Yuqi~ahhhhh, I said I'm sorry! I was just kidding you know I think you're pretty" soyeon was chasing around a pouting Yuqi after soyeon said that I was the prettiest member knowing it would irritate her.

Yuqi's still ignoring her, by the look on her face she's genuinely upset with what she has said.

"I don't care, I'm not in the mood go sit by the prettiest member"

"Aish, It was a joke! I think everyone is pretty no ones above each other, Yuqi stops being mad at me please" soyeons says upset that Yuqis ignoring her.

"Out of all the members you chose Soojin, you always choose her I don't care that you think she's prettier but it's always her!"

Where all stunned by Yuqis outburst, confused to why it matters to Yuqi so much but she is the jealous type and we all know soyeons her closest friend. Our two youngest are very possessive.

"Girls please, let's not do this now we don't want to cause a scene don't forget where on tv" miyeon scolds them, everyone shuts there mouth. Yuqi still looks mad but she manages to fake smile and laughs just enough for the cameras.

" soojin come closer to me " shuhua whispers. I look around nervously fidgeting with my dress.

"I'm staying here" I reply coldly to mask my anxiety, I want nothing more than to be near her but I can't control myself. She's looking at me in disbelief, hurt evident.

"Is something wrong" she replys?

"I just don't feel like sitting there" I snap back at her.

She gets up and moves to sit next to Minnie who's looking at Shuhua worriedly. Fuck why am I like this? I'm looking at her but she's completely ignoring me now.

"And the award goes to....... (G)-idle!"

I'm forced out of my daze by crazy screams from the crowd. We all look at each other shocked and proud.

I walk on stage and reach out to grab Shuhua's hand but she moves away from me and instead goes to Minnie.

I can't react because cameras are on us and I know some crazy fan would zoom upon us and make a fan edit "soojin and Shuhua fighting?" It's happened before so we've learned to play nice in public.

We thank the fans and head back to our seats and stay for a few more hours.

"Soyeon our song killed it! You did amazing composing it" minnies say. Soyeon blushes at her comment and looks down shyly, she always acts like this when she's complimented.

"Thank you, but you all inspired me for this song and without all of our hard work none of this could have been possible."

We all smile, soyeon looks towards Yuqi who is still in a mood causing Our leader to frown.

"Yuqi, can you talk to me please you're making me upset," soyeon says, her eyes are watery. We're all awkwardly watching the exchange.

Yuqi just puts her headphones in and ignores her. I look at soyeon she smiles towards me so I don't worry but I can tell it's not real. My eyes drift to shuhua her headphones are in as well. The two maknaes are both pouting.

Yuqi and shuhua are the first to leave the van.

"Why are they like this" soyeon says exhausted.

"You should talk to her Soyeon I don't think you calling me pretty was the real reason she's upset" she nods her head in understanding.

"I will, she's been acting so sensitive lately it's making me so confused and upset. Soojin you don't need to act cold towards Shuhua that girl loves you so don't worry about getting hurt"

Soyeon knows me better than anyone here besides Shuhua, she's seen me get my heart broken and what that did to me.

"It's not easy letting people in" I'm just so tired of people using me.

She wraps me in a hug.

"Don't let your past dictate your future, not everyone's like her especially Shuhua."

I close my eyes not wanting to cry. That her she's talking about is my ex, the famous Jennie Kim.