Chapter 34

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The next few weeks have been so much fun. I've been going to school during the day and partying all night and yet people still don't know a thing. It's so awesome being able to deceive those around me. I think the best part of all is that I'm with Justin. I'm still staying at his place, and I really do like it. I talk to Maddie in school sometimes but other than that I don't really keep in contact with anyone. I also go to Dallas' occasionally on my lunch break if I'm sober to see the babies they are so adorable.

Some people would say being with Justin is a huge problem. I can see where they are coming from; he's four years older than me and has a record. The thing is, is that we love each other. I know it sounds stupid and he hasn't said it but it's the truth. I mean why else did I practically move in after knowing him for a few days?

Anyways tonight is finally the American Music Awards. I'm actually excited about it too. To think three months ago I hated doing red carpets and now I'm pumped. I got this black mermaid gown. Some may say it's more for prom but it's actually more sophisticated which is weird for me. I feel so much older and mature, I really am the shit.Justin hired a makeup artist to do all my stuff and she just got done doing my hair. It's kind of the way Khloe Kardashian had it last year, except my hair is black. Some may say I'm going Goth but I was looking for a change you know?When she gets to my actual makeup she has a hard time. I see her looking disgusted at my skin condition.

"What can I say, my mother smoked cigarettes while she was pregnant. I have naturally bad skin."

She nods, not looking convinced. For whatever reason these past few months my face has kind of gotten wrinkly and more zits are popping up. Probably because I've lost some weight and my birth control is producing different hormones than I normally have. When she finished I put on my dress.

Justin yells from downstairs, "The limo is here. Can you hurry up?"

I yell down, "Unless you want me to fall on my ass getting down the stairs with heels, no."

I hear a bit of a laugh then a sigh. That man is kind of impatient. I strap on heels that make me literally well over 6'0" which will be funny since Justin is only 5'9". I make my way down the stairs carefully after putting on my angel winged necklace and I hear Justin cat whistle. I feel like I'm a baby deer trying to walk for the first time. As I try to go faster once I step off the last step, I instantly fall into Justin's arms.

I laugh as Justin says, "As sexy as you are with your long legs, I think you need to take off the heels."

I nod gratefully and take them off, and put on the flats I originally picked out. He takes my arm as we walk outside and into the limo. In the limo he gives me a pill from his jacket. I ask curiously, "What are we taking now may I ask?"

"It's an anxiety medication or something like that. It's for withdrawal symptoms. We can't be using on the carpet so Scooter gave me some."

I nod, perfect. No fun tonight! I take it however, knowing if I don't then I probably would regret it. I ask, "Why wouldn't you give me this for when I go to school so then I'm not all coked out and shit?"

"It's simple," he replies, "You are just way too fun and sexy. Plus you're losing weight."

As the limo pulls into the red carpet area I get super excited. I mean, who wouldn't be? I am so happy to just get out there and have my man show me off. Apparently I'm supposed to call him just a friend but I don't even know. I'm just gonna go with it. Before I know it, my arm is hooked around his and we are walking down with style. We pose for way too many photos but we had fun with it. We both did autographs for fans, him doing way more obviously. I did a fair amount, pictures as well. We do interviews which was interesting.

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