The Raven Hotel | Jikook |

Chapter 45: Home

        "I.. I can't do thi-" right as Jungkook began to doubt, the door swung open and there he stood. There stood the daring man in a white sweater, matching with his black joggers and the usual black house slides Jungkook memorized his footsteps in. The two stood in place, staring at each other as tears began to race down Namjoon's caring gaze.

      "Jungkook! Where have you been? Where on earth have you been... I've been so worried about you!" Namjoon cried and hugged the boy instantly. Bringing him into his arms and giving him the brotherly embrace Jungkook never thought he missed, when deep down, he truly did. "You don't know how happy I am to see you... I missed you, Jungkook."

       Jungkook stood there in shock. After all this time, he believed Namjoon didn't care the moment he talked behind his back and said things he shouldn't have said, but now Jungkook began to realize that Jimin was right all along. He was just in his own thoughts for the longest, the boy believed Namjoon didn't want anything to do with him when in reality, he was wrong. He was wrong in so many ways, Jungkook teared up in Namjoon's arms and hugged him back. Now realizing that his cowardice ways has ruined so many things that could have ended well.

    "I.. I missed you too..." Jungkook spoke out so suddenly, not even realizing that his own mouth opened to say those words. He no longer hesitated to open up about such thoughts he tried so hard to hide now. All because of Jimin, he was able to realize the flaws he had embedded into his stitched up wounds.

     At the same time, Jimin kicked the door to the hotel room open as he flung his mask into the room and looked around before closing the door shut. His eyes gleamed red, his fangs became sharper than ever and his cold hands trembled along with his heated body.

       Jimin looked around, wanting to believe Jungkook never left and was laying down in bed like any other day, but he was upset that his mind tried to mend his pains like this. Jimin had tears racing down his right eye as he ran his hands along his own hair frustratingly.

      "Why... why... Why can't I ever make them stay, why can't I ever be happy?" Jimin cried to himself as his grip within his own hair tightened so instantly. "I'm a monster... a monster that always scares them away!" As the man began to beat himself up for watching Jungkook leave, he didn't want to believe the boy would come back mostly because none of his lovers ever did. Hyunwon along with the rest of Jimin's past lovers before, never loved him at all. So deep down, he expected Jungkook to feel that way towards him; to fake his love and run away when he had the chance. Promise him the world and in the next second, hide his fingers crossed behind his back as he lied.

        It's not that Jimin didn't want to trust Jungkook, he wanted to trust his partner with his all, but with the pains of his past coming back to haunt him over and over again, he couldn't help but to think that it was all too good to be true. He was broken, so broken before he met Jungkook, this wasn't just something he could decide to move on from. This happened so many times, that it was unbelievable when Jungkook said he would return when many others didn't.

       Jimin dried his cold tears and suddenly, kicked the chair he would always sit in to write his thoughts out.

      "SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYMORE!" Jimin cried into a shout and continued to make a mess of the hotel. Only now, the pain he had endured for his eternal life, began to tower over him. It became too much as he kept crying through his right eye, but no sobs nor heavy exhales came out. Just screams of frustration. "I DON'T WANT TO FEEL! N-NOT WHEN I'M ALONE LIKE THIS... I...I... I can't.. I can't live through another eternity like this! What I am... it's too much for me to even walk... walk around in... I can't help myself..."

      Jimin growled and continued to make a mess of the room until he dropped onto Jungkook's side of the bed and faced the ceiling and allowed his tears to race down his pale face. He let his tears fall, his thoughts spill and his anger out. He laid in bed as he turned over and hugged the pillow Jungkook would always use and wanted to believe it was someone...anyone. Anyone as long as he felt sane hugging something that carried a scent of a human being so familiar to him.

     After a good while, the man drowned in his silence, his red eyes fixed onto a note on the nightstand. Such a peculiar note tugged at his curiosity until he reached over to grab it within his black gloves. Once Jimin grabbed onto the note, he noticed that it was folded with Hangul letters over the top spelling out his own name.

       Jimin knew it was from Jungkook; so he hesitated for a moment until he pulled the folds and opened the letter properly. Believing this was Jungkook's goodbye note, he feared even reading it, but Jimin's eyes scattered along the long letter until his eyes began to dry at the words he read.

"Jimin... I'll be back soon, I promise. I know you said that you didn't want me to go but after hearing your words and clever advice, I couldn't help but to feel as if I need to fix a few things in my life in order to be there for you! Don't hate me... I don't want you to hate me. Jimin, my lovely and perfect Jimin, I don't want you to feel as if I won't come back and surely you've heard these words before, but I'm not the same as those who harmed you before. I want you to trust me and through this, I hope I can gain your trust for sure this time.

I'll be back before you know it!"

     Jimin's weary gaze looked at the note after reading it and dropped it over his chest as his face pointed towards the boarded up window far to his left. Relieved that this wasn't goodbye, but yet again, he still feared the worst even when the note stated Jungkook would return. Jimin couldn't believe it entirely; it was his mind hoping to shield himself from the pain if Jungkook decided to never return. Jimin kept staring at it and let out another tear once he closed his eyes. Feeling calm, but drained of his happiness. Before, he was happy knowing Jungkook was here, yet knowing that he was gone, it only left him staring at the window where the rest of his pain ensued.

      "He will be back soon, won't he?" Jimin assured himself, but he couldn't help but to think about the odds of Jungkook deciding never to come back. That was Jimin's true fear; losing someone he wanted to keep forever. So as he thought of the worse, he continued to keep his face pointed towards the boarded up window as his hand over the note tightened around it, crushing the paper and hearing it crumble and fold underneath his own gloved hands. "Please... come back to me, Hyunwon..."