Chapter 44: No Turning Back Now

2.6K 253 89
                                    

Jungkook looked at Jimin and felt his own heart grow heavy. He kept his stare at the man and couldn't help but to feel let down. He expected Jimin to allow him since he knew how much trust the man had towards him, but suddenly, his doubts had a reason to believe Jimin wouldn't let him go at all.

"I... I don't get it... don't you trust me, Jimin? Why is this so confusing?" Jungkook questioned and continued to look Jimin in his eyes. "Why does this have to be so complicated? Please, let me patch things up with my family, Jimin! I promise I'll come back.. I'm nothing like them... I'm nothing like everyone who left you out to suffer! Please..." Jungkook begged and begged, but Jimin didn't seem to budge. The man stood in place and turned his face the other way.

"Jungkook, I trust you, I told you that I did but to let you go... I can't bring myself to allow you. I know you... I trust you... but how could I let you leave me if that's the biggest thing I fear?" Jimin asked and faced Jungkook once more, looking with pain burning through his crimson stare.

Yes, this was what the many years of being left alone did to him. Even after so long, Jimin couldn't move on when it happened every moment he found love. The cracks to his broken heart kept growing and it showed in his painful stare that told many tales. If there was a way to prevent the pain from happening again, Jimin swore to follow along with it. Which meant he had to deny Jungkook from leaving even for a moment.

"Why... why don't we go together? Please.... please I need to I-"

"Go... together? Jungkook, I don't think you're putting what I am into consideration... Jungkook, I'm a monster; I will kill anyone in my sight if I can't handle that side of me... my actions spin out of control at times like a broken switch that has never been repaired. That's why I never leave this hotel, not ever... what I am... the world won't love me as you do... no one will love me the way you do. I can't control myself around people outside of this place... the things I could do to others are so unclear to the point where it scares me to stay in here until I take my own life," Jimin confessed.

The conversation went silent afterwards. Jungkook listened to the man and clung onto him to give him a hug after the words Jimin spoke as if it meant nothing. Jimin suffered all his life for who he was and had no control over it whatsoever. To him, his instincts switched on and off at times when he least expected it. So when those moments kicked in, he would leave Jungkook alone in the room for the whole day until he knew he was better to return.

"Stop saying that... you're not a monster..." Jungkook reminded the man until he felt his gentle hands slide up his frame carefully. Jimin pulled away from the hug and looked at Jungkook once more before thinking of something else to say.

"That won't change everything that I am..." Jimin concluded and walked away to pick up his mask and top hat right after. "Your meal is in the fridge... I'll see you soon, I have to eat as well..." Jimin concluded and walked out of the room. Leaving Jungkook alone to ponder in silence.

"I can't stay here for the rest of my life and leave things the way that they are with everyone. I just... I just want to face them after the many things I've done to them and gain clarity. Jimin was the one who guided me into these thoughts, but now he doesn't want me to fulfill them..." Jungkook thought and ran his hand through his own hair. "I can't let Jimin think that I will never return to him. I need him to trust me completely... I need to go and as promised I'll come back right after and he will know that I'm different," Jungkook said before he let out a smile to himself. "Only then, he won't compare me to him... Hyunwon... that's the last thing I want to be compared to; someone who never cared about Jimin and left him."

Jungkook had a fixed mindset when it came to doing things his way. After all the things he's been through with Jimin, he wanted the man to trust him to return at any time. Jungkook figured that if he was going to leave, he had to do it as soon as possible just so Jimin wouldn't find him and drag him back into the hotel like he did the first time. But of course, Jimin wouldn't do that to him now, would he?

The Raven Hotel | Jikook | Where stories live. Discover now