Don't Touch Me (Voltron Kangst Fanfic)

Keith Isn't Okay

Tears began to fall from his eyes like waterfalls. He looked away from me, wiping away his tears.

Oh. I get it.

"So...you don't think I'll understand...because I don't have anyone on Earth that's waiting for me to come home?" I asked him. "Or because I'm half Galra and the Galra are responsible for all this?"

At this point, my heart was absolutely shattered. There was no mistaking that he actually did hate me. He was livid and I didn't know what to do to help him. I hated myself for making him feel so...angry.

Lance sighed. "Yeah. You don't know what it's like to have a family, so you couldn't possibly understand, Keith. So, just leave me alone." He said.

I thought I did know what it was like...

Lance turned around and left, leaving a stinging sensation in my heart. I took a shaky breath, trying to compose myself. As leader, no one should see me cry. My first thought wasn't out of anger or self pity. I forced myself into "what would Shiro do?" I thought about it, standing still in that same spot Lance left me in, and thought that if I couldn't help, someone that Lance actually liked could.

I tried to stop the negative thoughts long enough to act like a leader in front of the others. I walked to the lounge area, where Hunk was. I told him that Lance was upset and that he should go talk to him.

I couldn't really understand what Hunk replied with. At that point, I was in my head. I just left, putting my faith in Hunk to help Lance.

Wish I had a Hunk

That thought. I couldn't stop it. Everything Lance said was getting to me. My heart began to race, my vision became obscured by the coming tears.

Luckily, no one was around in that hallway, because the tears building up made it harder and harder to focus on anything but self-pity. I stopped walking and started taking short breaths, trying to calm myself down.

Lance hates me. He's always hated me. He's right. I don't have anyone. I don't have any family. How could I be so stupid as to think I could help him? I can't help anyone. Shiro was wrong, I can't be their leader. I'm not strong enough. I've never been strong enough. I'm an anxious piece of shit that is terrified every time he has to act like a leader. I can't even help my crush. I'm pathetic. I'm the leader of voltron, I can't have crushes or love. I don't deserve it even if I wasn't leader...Lance hates me, he'd be disgusted to know that I like him that way...I'm a fucking disgrace. I can't keep living like this...I want Shiro...where's Shiro?

I fell to my knees, holding onto the wall, trying to catch my breath. I had mechanisms to help take my mind off of anxiety attacks, but I couldn't remember any. Then, I began to worry that someone would see me out in the open.

"Cub. Breathe." I heard echo in my mind. It was a soothing voice. It wasn't louder than all my negative thoughts, but I could still hear it and listen to it.

It's black.

I did as she said and took in a deep breath. Though, I did it a bit too fast and choked on my own breath.

Black was an ally, but I couldn't call her a friend. Saying my only friend was a robotic psychic lion was pretty sad. Not that I'd ever let black know. She was the only one, aside from Shiro, who knew of my problems. She's the one who keeps telling me to take my medicine. I know she means well, but she can't physically make me. I cant have control over my own thoughts, but I can control what I put into my body.

"What bothers you, my cub?" Black asked me.

I was about to answer, when I realized that it would look like I was talking to myself to anyone who might listen. I slowly lifted myself up and headed towards blacks hangar.

"My former cub would advise that you take the medicine. I cannot stand by and watch your mentality decline due to your stubbornness." Black said.

I'd gotten down to the hangar and crossed my arms, as she lectured me.

"Why me?" I asked, though it came out in a mumble. I felt tired and all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and go to sleep, hoping I never woke up.

"Would you please elaborate?" Black asked.

I was starting to get annoyed that she didn't understand what I meant. "Why are you letting me pilot you?" I asked, emphasizing certain words so that she'd get the point.

"You are most hard working and I deem you fit. My former cub thought there same. You are a good leader; that is not the problem. In order to avoid the feelings of failure and doubt that you have, I suggest you confide in your teammates if you aren't going to take your medication. Or do you want me to talk to red about her cub's attitude towards you. You still share a bond with her and she will talk to him--"

"I DON'T--" I stopped, trying to compose myself. Black was an ally, I don't want to yell at her. She's just trying to help. "I don't need anyone to fight my battles. You and red aren't my parents."

"It may be worth it. Think it over, please. I only want you to feel like you belong...and I can sense your anxiousness...I fear it may worsen..."

I glared up at black. "Worsen? You think it'll kill me? Well, you might be right..." I sighed and looked down, shadow falling over my lifeless eyes. "I'm not the leader Shiro thought I could be."

"Keith, I--" before black could finish, I started my way back to my room. "Cub, you are a defender of the universe, you mustn't throw your life away!" I heard black plead. I sighed, hating that I couldn't get away from this conversation.

"Just shut up." I mumbled under my breath

"Talk to green's cub or yellow's cub, I'm sure they will listen. They don't desire harm upon you!" She yelled.

"I'm not going to live, just for them. They'll pity me." I mumbled, starting to walk faster towards my room.

"I merely want the best for you and I will do everything necessary to help. Please. Just continue to live."

"..." I stopped on my way to my room, taking in what she said. Am I really going to keep living for black? For Pidge and Hunk. Black doesn't care if I'm leader, she just wants me to live.

It was nice. Probably what having a mom felt like.

And with that thought, I walked back to my room.