Hate | Nosung

22

Once again, Jeno spent practice completely distracted. He was stuck in his head with his thoughts, and paid little attention to anything around him, save for every time his eyes found the little group who'd migrated to the bleachers after they came to the conclusion that Jisung just wasn't going to talk about what happened.

Taeyong had left for the dance room alone, insisting that Jisung just take the day off. Luckily, dance practice that day was dedicated to reviewing and polishing routines, and Jisung's two dance partners would be just fine without him for the last half of practice.

Jaehyun returned to coaching, and was doing a whole lot better focusing on practice than Jeno was. Not that Jeno really noticed. He was too far into his own thoughts, and his attention was on the four boys on the bleachers nearly every two minutes.

Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck surrounded their youngest friend, attending to him in every way they could think of. Telling him he could rest his eyes if he wanted to, getting him water in case he was thirsty, asking if he needed more ice, even offering to buy snacks from the vending machines. Jaemin was constantly stopping himself from asking Jisung to tell him what was going on. He knew Jisung wasn't going to talk, at least not at the moment.

Jisung didn't want to 'rest'. He wouldn't even lay down. He found a permanent spot, sitting on the plastic bleacher in between Donghyuck and Jaemin, while Renjun sat on the floor right in front of him, leaning back on the dancer's legs. Suction cupped to the side of Jisung's slouched frame, Donghyuck cuddled the boy who wasn't in any kind of mood to pull away from the affection. Jaemin's hand was always against Jisung's back, whether it was rubbing comforting circles into his spine, or just resting still as protection.

His three friends had conversations around him that completely went over his head, while he scrolled through his phone without a single word to say about anything. All he wanted was to forget about what he just went through, and maybe stop thinking altogether. But he couldn't stop the thoughts that would cross his mind from disrupting his self-distraction.

Every time, the words on his phone would lose meaning, and his furthering gaze would rest on the top of Renjun's head as he zoned out. Then Jaemin's hand would start its circles again, or Donghyuck's fingers would find themselves playing with coconut hair, and Jisung's consciousness would anchor itself back in his body. Jisung would return his attention to his phone and mindlessly scroll until the next intrusive thought came and started the cycle all over again.

Jaemin noticed the boy's zoning out, and fought himself to keep quiet about it. He needs to process, he told himself. He'll open up to you at some point. Be patient.

Jeno was frustrated, thinking back on the way Jisung crumpled to the floor in the bathroom, cheek glowing red under his tears. And then the first time, when Jaemin brought him in limping, ice packs being held to places hidden under his clothing. And he had that cut on his face. The one that had just healed back into bright, healthy skin.

He was frustrated that Jisung wasn't talking about what had happened, why it happened, or who was doing it. There was nothing. It was like he had no sense of self-preservation, which was dumb, because he was surounded by well-equipt friends.

Why couldn't he be more like Renjun, who would've fought back tooth and nail? Or Donghyuck, who would've screamed and tattled the moment someone looked at him wrong? And for Jaemin... Jeno was sure the waterboy would have said something after he got all of the tears out first.

Why did it have to be Jisung, the one who wasn't doing anything?

Jeno spent the rest of practice brooding about it. He showered, got home early because there would be no tutoring that night, ate dinner, watched tv, and then finally laid on his bed to go to sleep. Not once had his mind stopped since practice. It kept going and going.