Your One Day Trial

NINE

CHAPTER NINE | Feelings

"I-I" Saturday morning, mug full of coffee in hand, my girlfriend for a day standing before me with a worried look. My tongue got caught by the witch. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think straight.

Do I miss her?

Is she worth missing?

"Maybe," I muttered, avoiding her eyes I wanted to run out of her sight, but I knew better not to seem guilty. "I do..." I answered, still not looking directly at her. I don't want to see her expression. "I miss him too." She says. Looking at the corner of my eyes I saw her, faced down, hands on her chest.

"I miss him, even if he's not the best guy I know." Her voice breaks. 

I swallowed. Taking a sip of coffee, I placed it down on the counter and pulled her towards me. Hugging her and rubbing her back was something I was able to do for now. "It's understandable." I noted. She looked up, tears streaming down. Her eyes were puffy from last night and yet here she is, making it puffier.

"You should stop crying, I don't want Andea to kill me as we've only started." I chuckled. Trying to lighten the mood up she nods and sniffs. I wiped the tears away and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

"I-I, I haven't told her yet." She speaks up.

My lips formed an 'O'

"That's fine, I haven't told anyone either." I smiled. she hugged me tight, not minding that I was still shirtless as she breathed slowly.

✦

Standing under the shower, letting the water hit my face as I kept my eyes closed.

Back at my house after dropping Riles off to work, I drove back home wanting a change of clothing. I have no idea what to do, It was my day off. Schedules shifted so Roshe is currently at work. Sid is at his home looking after his cousins for a while, Briell was still begging her girl to come back. Everyone has their own agenda today.

Tomorrow, I'm sure everyone will be free of schedules. Including Rileen. I guess if I'm having some fun out, I might as well invite Andea. After all tomorrow will probably be the last of me and Rileen meeting after the 'breakup' so maybe we'll consider it as a first and final hangout.

Tilting my head down I opened my eyes, seeing the water flow and hit the floor, the water dripping from my hair, it all goes down to the drain. Why can't my thoughts go down the drain too?

I want my feelings for her to go down as well, I want to forget someone like her- but how? she spent years with me the same as I spent those years with her, only thinking about her most of the time, making plans with her, caring for her, cherishing those moments, it was all her.

My mistake was... going through it even though I knew it wouldn't have the happy ending I desire. I went through it all with no fake feelings, no lies of how I truly felt, I was honest even when jealousy struck me. I wouldn't say I was perfect, nor was she, but... 

I sighed.

Thinking about these kinds of stuff was merely stupid. I want to enjoy this day, be happy for a while, be honest and be free- but why can't I do that? why must she always be in my head? Why?