BLOOM • awsten knight

65

NOVEMBER 2018

Tour started in Florida; Awsten is excited about the artists they're touring with, and that this will be the last Entertainment Tour, but he's not excited about the loss of his routine.

Shows are selling out faster than he expected, too; it feels nice to see the progress that the band is making in person, and it feels surreal.

Each night, a small part of him still misses Elle; he won't let it consume him, but he knows it's there.

He thinks about her when they play Peach, and wonders if she'll still sing it at her shows - he hopes she does.

He thinks about her when they play We Need To Talk, and is reminded of when he taught her how to play it - as well as the first day of Warped Tour, when he knows the way that he sang the lyrics hurt her.

He thinks about her when they play Lucky People; a part of him is glad that he doesn't have to see the way her face drops when they play it, or watch her leave momentarily during the song - he never asked her why she did that, he just guessed.

And he thinks about her when they play 11:11, because of the way she told him she wishes on it, and his phone read 11:11 the first time he ever saw her, and because it's her favourite - he wonders if she still listens to it the same.

Despite the way everyone enjoys playing shows, the band have feel like they've been on tour forever.

Not only have they not had a substantial break, but Geoff has had to leave his girlfriend behind with their baby, Rory, twice now.

They've known that their label is shitty for a while, but sending them off on tour, over and over, when Rory is barely three months old still, is stooping to a new low.

Geoff sighs, once his FaceTime call with Chloe ends.

"You okay?" Awsten asks, raising an eyebrow, as he looks to his left.

"This just fucking sucks, man," he runs his hands over his face.

"I know," Awsten responds, sounding as sympathetic as he can, without actually being able to fully understand. "I'm gonna sue the shit outta them one day."

"Not if they sue you first," Otto comments, lightheartedly, earning some subtle laughs.

"It's like, what? Five more months left?" Jawn raises his eyebrows.

"Almost four," Awsten returns, "not like I'm counting," he adds, before returning his focus to his phone.

"How're you doing?" Geoff asks, quietly, more between just him and Awsten, causing him to look up again.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," he shrugs.

"Are you sure?" Geoff presses, earning a lingering look.

"I'm still not great about it," Awsten sighs, subtly, knowing that he's referring to the situation with Elle, "but I'm just, fine."

Just as he looks back at his phone, displaying his Instagram timeline, a couple of Elle's posts pop up.

"You still follow her?" Geoff leans over his shoulder slightly, and Awsten nods.

"She was in LA," he frowns, continuing to scroll.

"Yeah?" Geoff says slowly, confused.

"Right after I left," Awsten stops at a picture of her in the studio, his thumb hovering over the screen. "Do you think she did that on purpose?" He turns to Geoff.

"Honestly?" He raises an eyebrow, and Awsten nods, "maybe, yeah."

He lets out a long sigh, sinking into the couch.