Let Me See (Let Me Series)

Chapter 18

Have you ever felt like wherever you go, someone is watching you from afar? That's how I felt the first time I went out of the house after my surgery. After staying at home for the past few weeks, I've decided to be brave and try to socialize with other people again. Ang kaso nga lang, I really feel like someone was following or watching my every move. I didn't want to make a scene naman so I pretended like I didn't care.

"May problema ba, hija?" tanong ni Manang Elsie habang inaalalayan niya akong makaupo. Kung tutuusin, mas malinaw na yung vision ko talaga ngayon. Ang kaso nga lang, hindi pa rin ako ganoon kasanay kumilos lalo na kapag nasa labas kami. Ang ending tuloy, parang hindi pa rin ako na-operahan kung umakto ako kasama si manang.

"W-wala naman po," sagot ko sa kanya but I knew she wasn't buying it. Kilalang-kilala na niya ako at alam na alam niya kapag may problema ako. With the look that I have now, for sure, siguradong-sigurado na siya may iba talaga akong nararamdaman.

"Sigurado ka ba? Parang namumutla ka." Bakas na sa boses ni Manang Elsie ang pag-aalala. Nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko, doon ko lang napansing nanginginig na pala ang mga ito. Damn it. Why the hell am I feeling this way?

Pilit akong pinakalma ni Manang Elsie. Halos hindi na ako nakakain dahil sa kakaibang nararamdaman ko. I would often stare blankly into space and let the minutes pass by. Kapag niyayaya ako ni manang na mag-ikot, kumakapit lang ako sa kanya at hinahayaan ko lang siyang mauna sa paglalakad. Sumusunod lang ako nang sumususond sa kanya at hindi ko alam kung saan ba talaga kami pupunta.

Everything remained that way not until I really saw a familiar figure.

"G-gian?" mahinang anas ko habang naghihintay ako sa labas ng pastry shop malapit sa clubhouse ng village namin. Naghihintay ako kay Ate Marie dahil siya ang kumuha ng mga inorder namin sa loob nang parang makita ko siya.

He was standing from afar na para bang nakatanaw lang din. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin, hindi niya man lang iniwas ang tingin niya. Ang tingin niya ba sa akin, wala pa ring makita?

That's when a plan formed in my mind.

***

During my recovery, I managed to continue doing my course requirements. Medyo hirap at sobrang delayed na rin ako kung tutuusin pero pinilit ko pa ring ipagpatuloy 'yon. Sayang din naman kasi kung titigilan ko pa. I just needed to finish some papers and my thesis na lang naman. With the help of mommy and daddy, nagagawa ko naman nang maayos ang lahat.

I also did my best to look for Gian and Jillian. Simula nang makita ko siya noon, there's this hope inside me na pinipilit akong gumawa ng paraan para makita sila. It was impossible para hindi ko na ulit sila makita. I guess they were simply experts in playing hide and seek.

"Mom, can I talk to you for a sec?" tanong ko sa kanya one afternoon. I decided to drop by in her office first bago ako pumunta sa lakad ko. Good thing wala siyang kausap o ka-meeting ngayon. I can talk to her freely just like how I wanted to.

"Sure, Aisleen. What do you want to talk about?" she asked me as she motioned the single seater sofa in the receiving area of her office. I hesitantly walked towards it and I took a deep breath before sitting down.

"Uhh, mom, by any chance..." I trailed off. Ewan ko ba but I couldn't bring myself to drop the question that has been bugging my mind for the past few weeks. Siguro kasi ayaw kong ma-offend si mommy pero hindi talaga kasi ako matahimik. I needed to get this off my chest.

"Go ahead and stop playing with your hands," pagsita sa akin ni mommy at doon ko lang na-realize that I was indeed playing with my hands. I guess I was that nervous na talaga para hindi ko agad mapansin 'yon.