The Raven Hotel | Jikook |

Chapter 38: Your Soothing Voice

      "Jungkook... I'm sorry for keeping you up like this..." Jimin whispered as he got on the bed once more and crawled over to the boy until he was in his arms; burying his face against Jungkook's neck and wrapping his arms around his Jungkook's body underneath.

      "Don't be. I have no reason to sleep early. If it's to stay up and listen to you, I don't mind. I would do this at any time for you," Jungkook whispered and looked down at the man's silk hair. Taking the moment to count every strand and anticipate losing track of his count just so he could do it all over again. Things like these never tended to bother Jungkook because at the end of every day, they both had feelings for each other and were comfortable enough to speak about anything.

      "Jungkook..."

       "Yes..?"

       "I haven't... I haven't been completely honest with you when I spoke about Hyunwon," Jimin whispered and looked down at the boy's chest from his point of view while his forehead was pressed against the side of Jungkook's neck. "I told you that he left me... I guess I should have been more specific on what I meant to say..." Jimin trailed off as Jungkook gave him time in between each sentence. "Jungkook... I.. was the reason why he left... and by that I mean, I was the reason why... he... killed himself..." confessed the man as Jungkook remained silent. Already knowing that Hyunwon died, but he never understood how.

      "Jimin, please talk to me about it... let it all out..." Jungkook whispered as Jimin closed his teary eye and kept wiping it repeatedly. "I'm here for you..."

      "It feels as if... I'm in an endless loop. Hyunwon wasn't the first to escape from me. All my past lovers ran away from me when I asked them to become mine forever. They grew afraid almost as if they hid their true feelings about me and only waited for the moment to leave me for good... I never... I never understood why they all left me at that question. Hyunwon confessed that I drove him insane and couldn't handle me anymore. From what he looked like the moment he looked me in the eyes and told me, looked like nothing compared to how happy he was. At least, I wanted to believe how happy he was until he longed to escape me and chose the darkest way out and that was... out the window."

      "Oh Jimin..." Jungkook whispered and slid his hand down to softly caress the man's motionless shoulder.

      "Jungkook... my little raven...he... he  reminds me so much of you... and that's what makes me feel so horrible but I can't avoid it..." Jimin added on and stopped drying his endless tears as they peppered wet kisses over Jungkook's skin. "Your smile, your laugh, your voice, even the way that you hold onto me as if you're just a naive little lamb that would be lost without me! It all reminds me of him... oh do I just wonder if he can see me through you... ah, I must be insane! He died twenty three years ago... I have no reason to cry over him as if he just died yesterday, but I can't help it. I can't help it when the truth is waiting for me to accept it and you're here... here reminding of him as if you are him. As if you are my Hyunwon... is it bad that at times I forget that he left me so long ago?" Jimin asked himself as Jungkook kept his worried stare over the man. "Is it bad that I see you as Hyunwon at times?"

       "Jimin... please... I'm not Hyunwon... I'm Jungkook. I'm your Jeon Jungkook..." Jungkook whispered and cupped the man's face as he looked into his red eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that... but clinging onto the idea of him when you look at me isn't right! I know you still haven't grieved over him... it's a very traumatic moment for you to look back and accept," Jungkook then pressed his forehead against Jimin's and closed his eyes, feeling one of Jimin's tears meet with his own face right after. "I know it's difficult and I know it will take a while longer, but please, think of me, think of you, think of us. Take all the time you need to grieve for him no matter how long ago it was. The last thing I would ever tell you is to just get over it... because I know something like that isn't easy to get over just like that."

     All the right words Jungkook whispered to the broken man left Jimin confused. He looked into the eyes of the boy he grew very fond of and listened to him, but his mind kept thinking back at the one he loved so much before. Hyunwon was still in his mind when he looked at Jungkook. It was going to take a while to get over especially when Jungkook looked, sounded, and acted just like Hyunwon in every aspect. Unknowingly opening an old wound Jimin had before when Hyunwon still walked this earth. This was an ongoing situation for Jimin since he really did love that boy and never came into conditions to what really happened. His mind refused to believe it then and now, here he was; suffering with Jungkook as he drowned in his endless sea that Hyunwon still managed to sink him down in.

       "Oh my little raven..." Jimin whispered and hugged the boy with a smile erupting from his plump lips. "I appreciate it... I appreciate every word you tell me..." Jimin assured Jungkook. The boy's eyes glistened at the sight of his Jimin; listening to his response and actually putting it into consideration all while Jungkook looked him in the eyes and adored every moment of their little conversations that made precious memories. These were the beautiful memories Jimin longed to make with Jungkook other than cling onto what once was.

       "Jimin, take your time... but also use it to understand it more," Jungkook advised and Jimin nodded his head and kissed his little raven carefully. Understanding that now the truth only silenced itself in his thoughts for now.

        "I'm sorry... for keeping you up. Are you sleepy now?" Jimin wondered as Jungkook only giggled and shook his head. "Of course you aren't... not after everything I dumped onto you like that," whispered Jimin as he kissed along the boy's face before he trailed his gentle kisses over to Jungkook's neck carefully. "Your soothing voice... always comforts me... Jungkook~" Jimin whispered and noticed how Jungkook's breathing increased the moment he began to kiss along his neck.

        "Jimin, I want.. I want you to know that I won't leave you like the rest of them did. I won't neglect you... I'm here to stay for you and only you..." Jungkook promised and got a hold of Jimin's face to look at his precious red eyes fade into a brown hue right after–which was now Jungkook's favorite sight of the vampire.

       "Hearing you say things like that... oh it makes me feel so glad... I believe you won't leave me ever, right?" Jimin asked again just to be sure as he watched Jungkook nod his head. After, Jimin resumed peppering his warm kisses over Jungkook's neck and making the boy smile with beaming eyes weighing in close to embrace the moment that sent shivers down his spine at every kiss.

       "Jimin..." Jungkook whispered softly. Allowing the corners of his lips to curl into a smile while Jimin continued to trace his kisses down to the base of his neck but of course, limiting himself to only that spot. Refusing to continue on without letting Jungkook know.

     "Jungkook..." Jimin whispered in his alluring and raspy voice that called out to the younger as he brought his eyes open to look at the man before him. "Do you plan on sleeping tonight?"

      "No..." Jungkook whispered. Jimin then smiled and raised his hand up to cup the side of Jungkook's face carefully.

     "I have something else in mind~ but, only if you want to do it of course... there's no pressure," Jimin mentioned as Jungkook looked him in the eyes before realizing what Jimin truly meant by such a question like that. "Jungkook... do you trust me?"