oneshots

wishes, wants, and needs

NOTE: Analogical, Virgil angst, TWs for suicidal thoughts, kissing
DESC: Logan and Virgil take a walk to the train station.

"Virgil... perhaps it would be beneficial to avoid it."

"It's okay, Logan. I just wanna go there. I promise I won't do anything. Doubt I even could, with your strong ass around."

The two chuckled near silently, the darkness pressing on too heavy for true laughter's release. Their footsteps were synchronized, padding along the dark cement.

"I do trust you, and my ability to stop you if something did happen. You simply seemed... uneasy today. Rather, sad."

Virgil huffed. "Both," he said as his eyes turned to meet his boyfriend's.

Logan placed his arm gently around Virgil's waist, offering comfort. The receiver gladly took it.

Virgil led them to the train station, the new moon weighing down with each step. He gazed somewhat longingly as they crossed the overpass, the odd lone car drifting lazily by.

The tracks were tempting, yes, as the pair headed closer alongside them towards the platform, but he couldn't do that to Logan. But he could wish.

The clouds continued floating past while silence ensued between the two. Logan could tell Virgil wasn't quite ready to talk. He hoped he would be, at somepoint.

To his surprise and somewhat fear, Virgil broke from his hold to take his seat with long legs dangling over the edge of the platform.

"Virgil-"

"It's okay, Lo."

Virgil's eyes convinced him. He was offered a seat by pale fingers, which he took. Virgil laid his head on Logan's shoulder, who made sure to hold on to the thinner one's body securely.

"What do you think it's like? Afterwards, I mean."

"Well... no one can really tell, can they? I suppose that means we shouldn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... we were designed to live. We evolved to think and talk and question, but we can't have all the answers, now can we?"

Virgil laughed and smiled faintly.

"Guess not."

"We don't have any meaning after we're gone. We're made to thrive while living, and then we perish. There's no point knowing something we can't comprehend."

"Maybe it'd still be better."

Logan turned gently to look Virgil in the eyes.

"Love, you'll always get to die. But you won't always get to live."

The station lights illuminated small tears trickling down Virgil's face.

"But... what if, what if this never goes away? All I want is for it to go away, but what if it doesn't?"

"Maybe it doesn't. But that doesn't mean the happiness you scrape from the bottom of the barrel isn't worth living for."

"I can't..."

"Virgil.

Right here,

Right now,

You get to feel something.

It may not feel good,

But someday,

Maybe it will.

And if you give up the bad,

You can never, ever, see the good. I love you, Virgil."

They hugged.

"Let's go home."

As they passed, the train went by.

Virgil felt the warm weight of a hand in his. Logan's words ringing out still, sparking the tiniest piece of hope. Wind gently whipping through his hair. Soft glow from the station lights at their backs. Peace. Darkness.

"I'm glad I wasn't on the tracks."

"As I. I'm so proud you made it this far."

The couch was all too comfortable for two boyfriends in love. It was so warm, to have Logan right beside him, the weight of his arms soothing Virgil. He nuzzled Logan's chest, ear pressed to his heart.

"Hear it?"

Virgil nodded contentedly.

"The sound of life."

"Such a beautiful thing."

"All yours for the low price of free."

Virgil laughed, turning his head directly to Logan's heart, then up towards his face.

"You're beautiful, Logan."

"As are you."

"No, I'm ugly."

"Quite the contrary. Your freckles give you just the right amount of adorable-" Virgil scrunched his nose at this, "-your face is long and graceful, your eyes shine so purely human, your hair falls to shape out you, not just your face, but really you, your ears poke out so I can always see them, no matter how embarrassed of them you are, and your lips are pink and thin and soft and perfect-"

"Do you wanna kiss me?" Virgil smiled smugly.

But before Logan could even try to answer, Virgil had pressed their lips together.

He needed love.

Logan sank into the kiss, holding Virgil with both arms now. It was as if Virgil was desperate to be with Logan. He needed him. But someday he won't.

"You're the most wonderful person I've ever met, Virgil. I hope you know that."

Logan's heart beat in an unmistakable, familiar rhythm. Logan's arms made him feel safe. Everything wasn't perfect, but it was okay. It was okay now. No part of Virgil's mind regretted staying on the platform.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.

I love you, Logan."

"I love you too."