The Raven Hotel | Jikook |

Chapter 34: What I Am

       Jungkook raced to the elevator and travelled up to the sixth floor. He knew Jimin must have been hiding in their room, so he didn't worry about finding Jimin elsewhere. Jungkook dried the blood over his bottom lip and anxiously stood within the elevator. Thinking back at the words he said as Hoseok raised his voice at him. The memory still haunted the anxious boy until the first kiss he shared with Jimin soothed his thoughts, but also left him questioning many things.

       Gentle and warm lips met at the center of the ballroom. Jungkook couldn't seem to understand why Jimin's lips were warm, but of course, Jungkook also noticed that there were some parts of Jimin's body that gave off such a peculiar heat other than the cold dead touch Jimin had just hiding underneath his black leather gloves. It was almost as if he was alive when in reality, he wasn't.

      Once the elevator doors opened on the sixth floor, Jungkook stepped out and looked around the dimmed lights within the hall. He only kept one thought in his head as he walked over to the room door and noticed that the door was left open just a crack.

      "Oh, Jimin..." Jungkook whispered before pulling the door open and removing his mask to see Jimin sitting over Jungkook's side of the bed. There the man sat, sitting up and facing a wall as his body remained still.

       The unmasked and soulless man was sitting there, not even turning his head at the sound of Jungkook coming in and only raised his right gloved hand over his mouth along with his nose before closing his red vibrant eyes.

      "So... do you remember me now? That must have been a dead giveaway... no pun intended..." Jimin whispered and heard the door close followed by footsteps falling behind him. "Please tell me you do... if you don't, stay away... I don't want to harm you."

       "Jimin, I still don't know what you mean by that but I know you won't hurt me..." Jungkook assured the man before crawling onto the spot in the bed right behind him. Not noticing the tear racing down from Jimin's right eye. However, the man didn't sob nor did he breathe... it was just a tear running down his emotionless face. "You said you wouldn't... and I trust you more than I trust anyone in my life!"

      "You shouldn't trust me... that's the worst thing you could ever do to yourself... trust a monster like me... you don't even know what I am!" Jimin teared up but with the pain in his trembling voice, tears only fell from his right eye but never the other. "But here you are, after feeling my burden over your lips, you sit behind me like you think I'm only an innocent man..."

      "Jimin, I know what you are..." Jungkook confessed and slid his hand up Jimin's back in an attempt to soothe his pain. But the man only sat there and kept staring at the wall with his hand over his nose and mouth. "I know already... don't be ashamed of yourself... I want to help you..."

      "You're only saying that because you don't want to die in my arms, right?" Jimin whispered and kept his red eyes closed at the sound of his own tainted words. "I bet you only think I'm just a vampire... a full blown monster with nothing going on in its mind... with no remorse or pain... with no hunger for care. But you're wrong... I'm only half of that..." Jimin confessed as Jungkook continued to soothe Jimin and run his hand up and down his back. "I've been alive for over one hundred years... I feel the consequences of my actions and at times, I couldn't care less. Some functions work... some don't... some of me lives forever... some parts of me have died. Some half of me has been breathing since the day I was born while the other part of me died on the spot. This curse that I have... it's always going to make me suffer and I have no control over it whatsoever."

      "Tell me, Jimin I'm here to listen... I'm always here to listen to you, just like you're here for me!" Jungkook's words were soothing for the man as he finally opened his eyes and turned his face to focus onto the boy who stood behind him the whole time.

      Jimin took a moment in silence before he prepared himself to tell Jungkook the truth on what he truly was. "...I'm a hybrid. A mix between a living person and a vampire. That's why some parts of me work while the others don't. It's been like that since I was born. My mother was a vampire, my father was just a human..." Jimin spoke softly as Jungkook noticed how Jimin's tears only escaped from one eye. "I was born this way. That's why my hands are cold but the rest of my body is warm, that's why my eyes go back and forth from being red to brown, that's why I suffer when I take in anything... when I consume blood, it does the same thing to me when I eat or drink anything normal to humans. Either way, it hurts the other part of me. It hurts but I can't stop it... it's part of me to consume..."

       Jungkook looked with sympathy just oozing from the windows to his soul onto Jimin's. It all began to make sense to him now and Jungkook couldn't help but to feel bad for the man. "It's part of your eternal curse... isn't it?"

      "It is... I've done so many things I'm not proud of. I've done it all without even thinking at times but I can't stop. I can't stop, it's part of me whether I like it or not. It's true what they say about me... I'm a monster... a soulless monster and I didn't want you to know anything about this at all, my little raven. I wanted to protect you from your pain and the biggest threat that was here at the hotel and that was me... but you... you knew... how long did you know?"

      "I... I uh, I found out on my own just weeks ago. There were blood bags in the fridge and I.. I noticed how off you tended to act. But you don't scare me, Jimin. You don't. You've shown me such a good side of you that I've grown used to it by now. " Jungkook mentioned as he continued to look at Jimin through his brown eyes. Every moment the man was with the boy, his eyes would fade from its usual red color and turn brown within seconds. Showing so much more to how he treasured his little raven enough that he didn't dare to flaunt his red gaze at him.

      "You're not afraid of me? You're not scared that I might give in one day and take all the blood from you? I've done it before because I couldn't help myself! I didn't want you to leave, Jungkook I admit it and I know it's not right!" Jimin cried, but he kept his brown gaze over at Jungkook the whole time. "I keep losing myself at times that I can't keep track of anything I do on my own. But even if I lose myself on some days and avoid returning to you in order not to harm you, I don't want to let you go... you've been the only one who's treated me the way I've always dreamed you would."

        "Jimin..." Jungkook whispered and held Jimin's gloved hand while the other ran up his chest and finally caressed Jungkook's face carefully. "Of course I would treat you no differently... I've grown to trust you and I know it can't be easy on you at all... carrying such a burden must be torture! Being shunned by everyone is something I've known for so long to the point where it feels great to have someone finally treat you like a person..." Jungkook opened up and embraced the feeling of the man caressing his face gently.

      The way tears escaped Jimin's right eye made Jungkook notice the many imperfect cracks within his pale face. Many things Jungkook never noticed before finally began to surface when he found out that the shady and unknown man that used to keep himself hidden behind a plague doctor mask, slowly began to reveal his face even more to the boy.

      "We've both suffered for far too long..." Jimin concluded and with that, Jimin leaned in and watched Jungkook throw himself into his arms for a calming embrace. Right into the moment, Jungkook pulled his head back and pointed his face towards Jimin's carefully. "I'm sorry for everything... for everything I've done to you... I want to control myself in front of you. I don't want you to see me as this soulless monster that kills and consumes because it's not true!"

      "Jimin, I understand you now and I hear you. You're no soulless monster to me... I want to help you, if there's a way, I know I can help you!"

    "Why are you insisting on this?"

    "Because you've helped me with so much! I want you... I want you to know I'll be here too," Jungkook concluded and finally leaned in to kiss Jimin over his warm plump lips once more.

     As gentle and as warm as a fresh spring day, Jungkook embraced every second of the kiss and kept his eyes closed to lose himself in the safe feeling Jimin supplied him with. Into the kiss, they broke away for a swift moment before they continued their passionate touch until Jimin 's hands slid up Jungkook's hips so swiftly and felt something sharp just within the bottom part of the boy's pocket. Jimin finally set his hands over to cup Jungkook's face perfectly in his own gloved hands as his eyes slowly opened and looked down. Finally locking eyes onto the familiar silver knife Jungkook still had in his pocket.