𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐬 || 𝐌.𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

Aphotic||20

3rd P.O.V.

Aphotic
Adjective|Meaning:
lacking light; especially not reached by sunlight.

It has been exactly two days since the start of the training camp, those first two days caused a certain wall that built between Y/n and Atsumu. On the first night they had spend here, Atsumu had decided to talk to Y/n, to apologise for his lies and actions. Y/n had hid her anger toward the blond twin however she couldn't totally distance herself from him because she was their manager, Suijin who had noticed this sudden change kept his mouth shut knowing Y/n wouldn't want to talk about it.

"Y/n can we talk privately?" He asked after knocking in to the girl's room. He had his head hung low in shame while Y/n just plainly looked at him with no emotion or what so ever, she looked at him with such dull eyes. Y/n looked at the clock displayed on the white wall deciding if she had enough time for this private chat.

"Yes but I want it to be done quickly." Her voice was slightly muffled behind the door but was clear enough for Atsumu to hear it. Y/n was preparing for some stuff for the volleyball team along with Mayumi who was currently making their stats to compare them after the training camp. Y/n was currently busy with making new line up or rotation and busy making training regimens. She was looking for more good training techniques that she had learnt from others, such as any other sports players out there.

They both left the room, shutting the mahogany door behind, Y/n was following Atsumu from behind. The eerie silence between them made Y/n uncomfortable. For these past few weeks or after their break-up, Atsumu had been trying to avoid the fact that he lied to Y/n, acting that everything was alright. He acted like Y/n never existed in his life not even for even for a second, he completely tried to delete all those memories that they both shared and he felt guilt built up every time he does it.

"Y/n," the way he called her name out brought out the memories they used to cherish but until now the memories she wished to be burned in flames was coming back. She saw the past in his eyes, she saw how he sat next to her under the sakura tree, hand placed atop of each other. She saw the smile he always had around her in his eyes, she saw every dingle memory they had together in his brown eyes. "I apologise for what I did, I'm truly sorry." His hues staring right through her, just like he did back then.

"Atsumu I truly loved you but to be honest I don't know what would have happened to me if you didn't give me a glimpse of light." She paused, smiling at the man who broke her heart. "Even if it was only for a split moment, a minute, an hour, a day, a month. You gave me comfort that I sought with that smile of yours. You made me happy even though I didn't show it." She looked up at the moon, the light of it reflected on the pond. "Thank you for coming to my life even though you were just playing around, cause even when you played around I was in pure bliss with you around me."

"Y/n I-I'm truly sorry if I had known that it would escalate to this extent then maybe I should have stopped. I never thought you truly loved me, the only reason I wanted to date you was to prove to myself that I could get with anyone. You were the only girl that pushed me away so I be wanted your attention. I thought the only reason you wanted to be with me so that after a couple of time you would break up with me and I'd stop pissing you off. " He stutters through out his sentence, he knew his wrongs and he was deeply ashamed of that.

"Tell me Atsumu, why did you made me fall when you were never meant to catch me?" She looked into his eyes to search for his answers. "Tell me the answer of the question I've always wanted an answer to." Her voice demanding for an answer, her voice was about to crack at any moment if she's going to speak again. "Because why did I have to think that all you said was true? When they were just sweet lies. Why did you have to make me feel like I was your entire universe when I was just actually nothing to you? You made me feel worthless and I hated it because you were the one I loved the most!" She burst out in anger of all the emotions she had been feeling, she let it all out in one go.

"I'm begging you please tell me that at least I didn't waste my time trying to make you happy when you weren't actually happy. I'm begging you please say that your smiles were never fake when you were around me and they were actually genuine, because I hate making to be looked like a fool." Her tears began spilling out of her eyes, he saw nothing but sorrow of the eyes that never once had held emotions. "I hate for the fact that after finding out that everything wasn't real then I hoped that at least your smiles were, the way you smiled when you said you felt like you were at your best when you were around. It made me so fucking goddamn happy because I was able to make someone smile."

"I can't believe that the one who made me feel as if I was their all was the one who made me feel like I was nothing but a mere nuisance." She said, wiping her tear stained cheeks. She forced herself to stop crying, to tell herself once more to pick herself up, telling herself once more to bottle things up. She told herself once more to never love again, but how could she anyways? She was incapable of it.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like that Y/n but I never once lied when I said you fazed me." He left her again, all alone in the darkness, once again left alone under the moonlight.

His words reminded her of Tenji's words, her breath hitched, the memories then came flashing in. The tale of L/n Y/n and Nakashima Tenji.

"Y/n I'm sorry for using you, I was just craving for attention because I missed my girlfriend. I just wanted to mess around because I was just too goddamn bored." Tenji said in frustration, pulling his raven locks that fell on his forehead. He looked at her with bore, it clearly decapitated that he was sick of her.

"Tenji so after all these time you've been dating girls, wanting to keep them in private so that you could have more girls without them finding out you were actually in a relationship. Funny thing that your so-called "original girlfriend" wasn't even the original one." She chuckled crossing her arms in front of her chest, pretending that she wasn't hurt deep inside. "You're telling me that you have been fooling everyone after all these time, pretending you were single when you weren't! Tell me Tenji was it fun?!" Her frustration continued to build up on her chest, she felt like she was going crazy.

"Y/n please understand a man's needs!" He held her shoulder making her look straight in to his eyes. Y/n clicked her tongue, rolling her eyes mentally of what he said. "You women just don't understand our needs, us men crave for attention." Y/n just couldn't believe what he said, it was like lying to your professor that your dog ate your homework.

"What the fuck Tenji?! If you wanted attention then could you not have played around with people's feelings cause Tenji we're the ones hurt not you." Y/n then crouched, her arms covering her eyes, she wasn't angry at him; she was rather angry at herself. "I truly loved you, you know? I really the shit we had was what mundanes call "love" and I foolishly believed that. Were they real? Everything you said to me?" She tried to sound intimidating but it was like a mere whisper.

"No, they weren't. They were just part of the plan for you to fall in love with me." He sounded like he was about to laugh. "So please Y/n understand that there was nothing that ever happened between us, we were never in a relationship." Her tears stopped when she heard that. "But I never once lied when I said you fazed me, you were a bit more interesting than any girls I played before anyways." He left her in front of the swings where they always met up and talked. He left her under the moonlight, crying in despair, she was alone in the darkness once again.