Fight for Me

Chapter 93

Filled with emotions that she was trying her best to sort, Lydia remained hidden away in the bedroom for a while. For the most part she just remained seated on the bed, unmoving, as she stared into space in a state of shock. But eventually she stood and began to pace, confused by the thoughts and emotions running through her.

She had hated her mother for the longest time, blamed her for a lot of what went wrong her life. But now she wondered if she was simply doing that to have a scapegoat and not own up to her own mistakes. Granted she was young and desperate when she made them, but they were still poor choices she should have recognised before it was too late. That being said, there were still things that were her mother's fault and Lydia was unsure if she could ever forgive her for them.

But at the same time, there was a slight feeling of relief that her mother had made an attempt to repair their relationship. Lydia never thought seeing her again would cause anything other than pain, but it appeared Sherlock was correct, which shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. Regardless, it did slightly leaven the weight on her heart that she carried and she wondered if perhaps her and her mother could, at the very least, end up on speaking terms.

It was something she didn't know she wanted, it was easier to cut ties with her completely. But she now wondered if it was worth a chance especially considering her mother had appeared quite laden with guilt, perhaps they could repair what had been broken between them. And if it didn't work out, Lydia would simply consider herself motherless once more.

Finally leaving the comforts of her room, Lydia walked out into the living room only to find it completely deserted save for Sherlock, who was cleaning up the unfinished food and storing it away. Guilt crept upon Lydia at the sight as she realised the party must have dispersed when it became clear that she was not going to be rejoining.

Sherlock caught sight of her and placed the cake he was holding onto the counter, making sure Lydia knew she had his full attention. He spoke first, immediately apologising for his decision to invite her mother.

But she shook her head, "you don't need to apologise, Sherlock, perhaps you were right to have me reconnect with her. It was just a lot and I needed some time. But I'm sorry, I should have realised that there were still people out here and, Christ, I was being so selfish, I didn't mean to ruin the party."

"Lia, it was your party, you didn't ruin it in the slightest. Besides, it was getting rather late, and many of the guests have work tomorrow or will be at the second day of the trial, so we decided it would be best to call it a night."

Not convinced that she had ruined the wonderful party that John and Sherlock had planned, Lydia gave a sigh and busied herself helping Sherlock clean up. He placed his hand on her arm and shook his head, "you don't need to do any of this, Lia. After all, you are the one we were celebrating and you too need to be at the courthouse in the morning."

"But I also ran away in the middle of the wonderful party you threw for me. It was unfair to you and I want to at least help you clean up. You and John must have gone through such pains to pull this together without my knowledge and I rewarded those efforts by spoiling everything."

Sherlock pulled her into an embrace and spoke into her ear, "you did no such thing. I shouldn't have invited your mother, I should've saved the party for just those that you care about. I had thought it would be a good surprise and that it would help you cope with your past, but I understand that her unannounced presence was not welcome at this party."

"Sherlock, I don't want you blaming yourself, not after everything you did to make this night incredible-"

"Then let's hold off the blame until later," Sherlock interrupted before she could go on about how she should have acted differently. "I do believe you still have presents to open."