Travelogue || Namkook

18. The Proposal

"What?!", Jungkook exclaims, shocked. Namjoon? His soulmate? No, that can't be. How the hell did he even know? Jungkook is positive he didn't see the color of Namjoon's eyes change the first time he met him. He's sure of it.

Namjoon doesn't look at him. "I'm your soulmate, Jungkook-ah. I'm sorry", he jumbled, guilt churning inside his stomach. Jungkook shakes his head furiously. "Namjoon, stop lying to make my wish come true. It's okay", he says helplesslessly.

Namjoon sighs. He takes a step forward but Jungkook takes one back. Oh no. This is what Namjoon was afraid of. He never wanted Jungkook to be wary of his presence. And that's exactly what's happening right now.

"I'm not lying, Jungkookie. I promise. I'm your soulmate", he insists. Jungkook looks like he's about to cry. "I didn't see the color of your eyes changing. It doesn't make sense", he says, voice cracking with each syllable.

"I did, Jungkookie. The reason why you didn't is because you're sick. Your disease prevents you from finding your soulmate", Namjoon explains, walking forward. This time, Jungkook doesn't flinch or move back, too shocked.

Namjoon gently rests his hands on Jungkook's arms. He's about to speak again when Jungkook asks, "Since when have you known?"

Namjoon bites his lower lip, afraid of Jungkook's reaction. He stays silent. "Since when, Namjoon?", Jungkook asks again, looking directly into his eyes now, showing nothing but hurt and disappointment.

"Since the day I met you...", Namjoon breathes out. And the dam breaks. Jungkook starts sobbing, shaky hands going up to cover his mouth, tears streaming down his blushy cheeks.

Namjoon doesn't waste a second wrapping him up in his arms. "I love you. I love you. I'm so sorry, baby", he whispers, pressing small kisses to Jungkook's head, hoping to be some sort of comfort.

"Y-You b-betrayed me", Jungkook cries. "Why--- why did you lie t-to m-me", his voice comes out muffled being pressed to Namjoon's chest, whole body shivering due to his heavy sobs.

Namjoon's heart clenches. He didn't want it to be like this. That was the reason he hid the truth in the first place. "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to break our bond", he whispers again, now crying as well.

"I-I knew this was t-too g-good to be true", Jungkook says with a pained hiccup. Namjoon just holds him tighter, shaking his head, uncaring of the fact that he's dampening Jungkook's hair with his tears.

"No, no, Jungkookie. This is not too good to be true. This is good enough to be real. You have to believe me. I did this because I love you. I don't wanna be without you. I can't", Namjoon confesses, nothing but sincerity lacing his tone.

"W-Why did you tell me n-now then? You c-could've just not told m-me at all", Jungkook finally addresses the elephant in the room, pushing Namjoon back gently, just enough to be able to look up at him.

"Because I know that most regrets are for things we didn't do than for those that we did. If I didn't tell you now, I'd have died regretting not telling you and you would've died wanting to meet your soulmate. I couldn't do it to you, Jungkookie. I couldn't do it to myself either", Namjoon answers.

Jungkook looks at him for a small moment, eyes glassy, before he laughs, a soft, watery sound. "You're an idiot. I can't believe I love you", he whispers, so close to Namjoon that their lips are almost touching. There's no malice behind his words.

Namjoon lets himself smile albeit a little cautiously. "So that means you're not angry with me anymore?", he asks. Jungkook shakes his head. "I wasn't angry with you before either. I guess I was just hurt. Besides, wouldn't you be heartbroken if I did break the bond now?", he teases.

Namjoon looks completely serious when he nods, though. "It would hurt more than death ever could. I'm sure of that", he says. Jungkook smiles kindly at him, pressing a peck to his lips.

"Right. Besides, how can I break the heart of the person who fixed mine?", he says, tearing up again. Namjoon chuckles wetly, pulling him close again, resting his cheek on Jungkook's head. This is everything he could've asked for.

"I love you so much", he mumbles repeatedly. Jungkook holds tightly to the back of his jacket, nuzzling his head under Namjoon's chin, trying to seek all the warmth he can gain.

"I love you, too, Joonie. Even if I'm only your something, please know that you're my everything. I'm always gonna love you, even when we aren't here anymore", he speaks, so softly Namjoon almost misses it.

"You're my everything, too, Jungkookie. I've never dated before and I'm kind of glad I haven't. You're my first in everything and I intend to keep it that way. I haven't lost anything but I have gained you. I'm so thankful for that", Namjoon smiles to himself.

"Of course, Joonie. Jin hyung always tells me that love means compromising, not sacrificing. I think I've found its true meaning today. I haven't sacrificed our bond but you've compromised to keep us together. I'll always be grateful", Jungkook replies back, holding stars in his eyes that Namjoon can't see but knows are there.

"Alright. Then ask me again", Jungkook demands, detaching himself from Namjoon's warmth. Namjoon frowns, confused. Then, his face softens, realizing what Jungkook means.

He quickly gets down on one knee, pulling out the ring from his pocket. Surprisingly enough, it isn't gold, neither is it topped by an expensive diamond. Instead, its a simple silver band, custom made, if the initials 'N.K' are anything to go by.

He takes Jungkook's left hand in his own and takes a deep breath, feeling like his heart is going to explode with all the love he has within himself for the man in front of him.

"Jeon Jungkook, will you marry me?", he pops the question, smiling ear to ear, insides screaming with happiness. Jungkook smiles widely, not crying as he might've done if the circumstances were different.

"Yes, hyung. I'll marry you. I love you".

💓