What Could've Been

1.10

February 8, 2019

I am sad to say that late last week Lindsey underwent Emergency open-heart surgery. He is now recuperating at home and each day he is stronger than the last. While he and his heart are doing well, the surgery resulted in vocal cord damage. While it is unclear if this damage is permanent, we are hopeful it is not. 

This past year has been a very stressful and difficult year for our family, to say the least. But despite all this, our gratitude for life trumps all obstacles we have faced at this moment. We feel so fortunate he's alive. As does he. He looks forward to recovery and putting this behind him. Needless to say, all touring and shows currently scheduled have been put on pause for the moment as he gathers the strength to heal completely. 

Our family thought it important to share what's happening with Lindsey with the hope that inspires someone else to seek preventative care. Lindsey's family has a history of heart issues, having lost both his father at 56 and his brother at 46 to heart-related illness. If anyone is experiencing even the mildest of symptoms we encourage you to seek the care of a physician. We are so thankful for the kind and generous love given by the people surrounding Lindsey, me and our kids throughout this emotional time. We can't thank you enough for all you did for our family. We will never forget you. XO Kristen Buckingham. 

"Great now sing the damn papers," Lindsey demands chucking the phone back at Kristen. 

"I will do no such thing. I don't understand why I was served with divorce papers. Let's talk about this." Kristen demands. 

"What's there to talk about. I asked LeeLee if you were flirting with that guy at the center and she said you were doing more than flirting with him." Lindsey explains.

That was the first thing that he asked when he woke up from his comatose state. He had to think long and hard about what he was going to do. Them having to shock him three times before he woke up. But taking Barbara's hand was so tempting. But the cries coming out of Leelee who was being held back by a nurse in the hallway was enough to get him to come back to life in a sense. And when he came too and realized it was just Leelee, he asked where her mother was. Leelee reluctantly told him that she was at the center and that's when he asked about the guy. Turns out Kristen had been sleeping with him when Lindsey was touring so when he was fired and he was home all of the time that's where the tension stemmed from.

"So I slept with him a couple of times, how many times did you sleep with Stevie on the road?" 

"Never. I never slept with Stevie on the road." He states.

"I don't believe you." She growls.

"Well that's fine, don't believe me, but I still want a divorce." He states.

"you JUST had open-heart surgery. How are you going to take care of yourself if I'm not here?" 

"It's called, a William and Leelee." He pointed to the older two of his children. They all knew he was thinking about filing. He had sat them down at the beginning of the week and told them he was filing and twenty-four hours later she was served. William and LeeLee had both agreed that they would help take care of him. Especially because William was doing his college classes online. 

"Lindsey I'm not comfortable with that." 

"So what, I don't give a damn with what you're comfortable with. I want a divorce, we're getting a Divorce." He states.

"We aren't." She spits.

"We are Sign the damn papers." 

All she did was stormed out of the house and Lindsey's head fell to his hands in exasperation. 

"I mean, maybe you could've waited until you were pretty much healed." Leelee shrugs.

"Not helping." He sighs. 

"I just want you to be happy again." William sighs. 

"And I will be when your mother is gone and I'm on my own." He states.

"What's happened, I mean like you were so happy when I was little?" Leelee asks.

"What happened was that she's forty-nine and I'm sixty-nine. We had things in common when we first started dating but when we got married it just changed. We have such a big age gap that I'm at the point where I just want to be home with my family, but she wasn't. She was of the mindset that I was a world-famous rockstar and we were going to meet so many people and go to so many parties. Now, she's at that age where she's settled she feels complete in life, and while I should be too. I don't...Because I love your mother, I do...I love her because she gave me you. But I love Stevie and I know Stevie doesn't love me anymore and if I divorce your mom now, I will truly be alone, but I'm at the age where I just want to be with my soulmate and it isn't your mom. And I'm sorry to say that." Lindsey sighs.

"No, I get it especially because I'm thinking really hard about my relationship with Olivia. Part of me thinks she's my soulmate, but the other part is like, you've only had two girlfriends so you need to go out and experience some more stuff." He shrugs.

"Son, take it from me...if you think she's your soulmate, you have even an inkling don't let her go. Wait a couple of years before you marry her, but don't let her go. Because I made that mistake and while I love you three with my whole heart, I wish Stevie had been the one to have my children. But at the time, Destiny wanted your mom to give me children and that was great because it made me grow up. But now, especially after almost dying like that...I don't want to take any more chances. And hell, Stevie and I might never speak to each other again but at least I would've tried." 

"So are you going to contact her after the divorce is final?" 

"I'm going to try but I'm not promising anything, not even myself." He shrugs.

"Well, whatever happens, we support you and we love you" Leelee latches onto him. 

End of Part 1