What Could've Been

1.9

January 30, 2019

Much like the night prior LeeLee stayed and Spirit Lindsey also stayed at the hospital. His baby of choice that night was Gregory. He didn't know why, it just was, and when Gregory popped out of his arms and woke him up, much like the day prior Barbara greeted him. 

"It's your final day Lindsey. Which means it's your final test."

"Which is?" 

"It's decision day. Very quickly you're going to start coding. You'll have the option of joining me, become thirty-five again, and die. Leave your life behind you. It's been a hell of a year for you. Fleetwood Mac made a bad decision and you did, you fell into a depression. If you decide to go with me, News will break, and Fleetwood Mac is going to be hit hard. You were a giant part of them. And they threw it away. But, it'll make them realize what they lost...and what they had...sorry, I didn't mean to quote her it just happened. You'll benefit by getting to see your brother again, your mom, dad, me and Jess, and your babies. You'll get to be with them every day playing with them, holding them, loving on them for eternity...But then there are your babies down here. LeeLee and William, they'll take it pretty hard, but William, much like you did when your dad died he'll get over it. LeeLee will until she gets married and you aren't there to walk her down the aisle. Kristen will move on perfectly fine...I shouldn't even be telling you this but there's a ranch hand she flirts with constantly at the Equestrian Center. Stella right now doesn't know what to think. She's scared because she's so young...and she's distancing herself because she thinks that it'll make it better, cause she has a hard time seeing you like that." Barbara points to his body.

"Right, because she's so young she doesn't know what's going on." Lindsey nods.

"But if you die, it'll affect her. Losing a parent isn't great at any age. Let alone fourteen."

"Barb I kind of want to go..." He looks down at his hands, 

"Oh?" She asks.

"Yeah I mean...at this point, my marriage is a sham, Divorce is coming. I'm jobless. There's really nothing to live for anymore." He shakes his head.

"Come on." Barbara holds her hand out. He takes it reluctantly and then they flash to Denver Colorado.

It's still early in the day, so her hotel suite is pitch black and it takes him a moment to even recognize where they are. 

"Why are we here?" He asks.

"If you die, she's going to take it the hardest." Barbara points to Stevie. She's sleeping elevated slightly on her left side, slightly on her back. Her blonde hair is fanned out against the pillow, and Lily the dog is perched right on her lap. But she's staring right at them, her fur on edge.

"Lily knows we're here but we don't look threatening so she's not barking...but Stevie's going to take it the hardest if you die," Barbara explains.

"She got me fired." 

"Lindsey she still loves you. When she performs with you she feels like a dying flower because all she wants is to be with you like she is on stage playing it up for the crowd, the head kissing, the hand holding those moments that you both took for granted on the previous tours. But you're married and though she's certainly slept with a married man in her day like I said when I introduced you to the babies, you're special. She wants your last name. And she's wanted it since William was born, but she wasn't going to do that to you. She didn't want to hurt you, so she hid her pregnancy until she was able to get that abortion around Thanksgiving because she thought you were going to be happier with Kristen because when she announced that Will was coming you were so happy. If you choose to come with me. News'll break that you've passed away, Karen will know before the band because that's just what she does. She'll tell them but she'll keep it from Stevie. Christine, John, Mick. They'll...they'll struggle. It'll be hard for them to not tell her, especially for the first twenty-four hours. But they won't tell her and she'll bug them to ask them what's wrong because she can tell something is wrong. As soon as she wakes up she'll feel like something's wrong but she won't be able to grasp what it is. She'll call her niece and her brother, they won't tell anything, but that feeling will eat at her.  She'll be getting I'm So Sorry Messages from the fans and she'll be confused. Then after the Encore tomorrow night, Mick will announce it. Totally blindside her. She'll feel like the wind was knocked out of her. But she'll keep it together on stage. As soon as she gets back to her dressing room she'll google you figure out how you died when you died. And then she'll be mad that they kept it from her and then she'll just sob. She'll scream and she'll cry and she'll curse god. Why did you take him not me. You should've taken me. She'll hate herself for not making amends and then I don't know what she'll do...That's the tricky part about all of this. Every single moment in a person's life has many options. So it's just a giant cluster mess. She could get over it and be fine, she could mourn for the rest of her life, or she could die from a broken heart." Barbara explains. 

"If I choose to stay what's going to happen?" He asks.

Before she tells them, they flashback to the hospital. "If you choose to stay, Life will go on like normal before this heart episode happened. You could petition for divorce, you could stay married to Kristen, you could keep trying to get in contact with Fleetwood Mac, it's all up to you. Destiny rules." 

It was then that they heard him flatline and Leelee woke up abruptly and started to panic and she started screaming for someone to come help.  Barbara just held out her hand.