heavenly ✓

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 14

♡︎𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟♡︎

What if the grass was greener on the other side, because it's always raining there, where the ones who never fail to give, hardly have enough to spare, where the people with the hardest smiles, have pillows filled with tears,
And the bravest ones you've ever known, are crippled by their fears, it's filled with lonely people, but they're never seen alone, where those who lack real shelter, makes you feel the most like home. Maybe their grass look greener, because they painted on it's hue. Just remember from the other side, your grass look greener too ~ᵉ.ʰ

My mind wandered back to Alex...
and it's scary, it's scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they're what makes you forget everything bad that's going on in your life. They're the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep, just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have taht someone,but it's scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go...
you would have trust them enough to see you naked, you will undress and remind them that you have stretch marks, birth marks, a bit of belly fat or even a lot. You will blush a thousands shades of pink, painting yourself as a rose losing its petals.

and i hope they see each and every freckle on your back as it's a star, and you're the whole universe for them. i pray that they trace your tiger straps and call them 'little lighting bolts', and kissing tenderly each scar to help it heal, to caress your tighs even if they were chubby or skinny, to cherish your color changing cheeks, and play with your hair as you sleep... I hope they adore and love you as the way you deserve to be loved.

Staring at the photographs i asked Xander to give me, i knew i found the one. He was everything i ever wanted in a man, and even more... but there's something about him that made me like him ever since the day I met him, there's something about him that makes me go absolutely crazy...
Him-
It's such a simple word. how does a single 3 letter word make me think of three thousand different things? his smile, his laugh, his voice. The tingles that are sent up my spine when he touches me, my heart skipping a beat when he looks at me. Him, the boy who makes me feel happy even when i don't want to be.

Getting out my thoughts i stood up and gathered the photos and started hanging them up in my room. They were basically pictures Alex took either of me or location or anything related to each date or either the failed attempt of pictures i took when i steal his camera every time. He's a damn good photographer who likes to gather memories into paper and images. and here I am again thinking about him..

i actually can't believe he's my boyfriend... it still feels weird, but it the amazingly good way..you know?

after finishing everything in my room, i spent about 6 hours of nonstop studying, but my brain shut down after so i took skye on a walk around the park, took a breath of fresh air and recharged my mind and body so i can complete everything that's waiting for me on my desk.

we came back home and i made myself a sandwich, giving away half because of skye's puppy dog eyes, then texted Alexander to check in on him. and going back to studying.

Hours passed and it got dark outside, so i decided to call it a day and have a shower before relaxing a bit. I checked my phone and still no messages from Xander, when he's at the office, he always seem to reply after an hour or so, because he's clearly busy. And he always seem irritated and tensed, but he always replies. i don't want to seem clingy, but i do miss him, i haven't received a reply from him since yesterday's goodnight after our date, and he was extremely happy.

Deciding to not think much of it and to give him space, he'll eventually text me when he can, he's probably busy with work, and stuff, or maybe spending time with his Dad even if they're not close.

The doorbell rang and i opened the door and greeted Elodie for our girl night, since we both needed itafter a day full if studying, and i know she was having boy problems with lucas... she likes him, and he likes her. They're both blind to see that, but they flirt like a married couple and bicker like enemies at the same time. But neither me or Alex wanted to spoil it for them, we wanted for them to experience it, and to see how long would it take them to see it themselves.

The whole night consisted of talking about boys, makeup, clothes and even somehow, we talked about giraffes. at the end of 4 bags of cookies later, we fell into deep slumber.

The next day, we did our morning routines, and before heading to college, i saw a text from Alexander that was sent at 1:30 am saying that he missed me, i better be sleeping and that he's sorry he couldn't respond earlier because of the pending work he had to complete. I smiled while sending him a quick text, getting my stuff and hurrying outside to an inpatient elodie.