Dear Kulsum✅

1.

"Help me" I managed to croak out, my voice coming out hoarse. I immediately started coughing again. I used my hand to cover up my mouth.

She stepped forth to help me, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. When I raised my head up and moved my hand away from my bag, she stopped what is doing and held the hand in hers, "What..." she trailed off as she saw the droplets of blood on it. "What's happening to you?!" she asked.

I didn't have the energy in me to deal with her horrified state. I simply leaned back on the seat trying to even my breath, "I don't know" I replied. "That's why I'm here"

"When did this start?" she asked as she ran over to the coat hanger and pulled out her white coat before shrugging it on.

"Today" I lied. It didn't start today. However, she doesn't need to know that before you can tell what's wrong with me.

She hummed.

Fifteen minutes later of her poking me with syringes and whatnot, she looked up from the report in her hand and watched me, her eyes holding a look I couldn't decipher.

"What's it?" I asked as I stood upright on the chair I was leaning on. My lungs hurt from all the coughing and my throat feel parched.

She sighed and walked towards me. She sits on the chair in front of me and placed the report aside. "Well I still need to run some test on you to be sure. But based on what I've seen I might have a hunch on what's wrong with you"

"And that is..." I probed. I knew what she's going to say, I just needed her to confirm my thoughts.

She sighed again as she massaged her temples with her fingers, "Like I said, I still need to run more tests to confirm this. Whatever I say now is based on the knowledge I have"

"Just tell me"

She gulped as she watched me with sad eyes, "I'm sorry Kulsum but I think you have cancer"

That's what I thought. I blinked and inhaled slowly before exhaling, "What type?" that is what I don't know. I need to know from her.

"Liver or pancreatic?" she shrugged, "I can never be sure without further tests"

"Do you know how long I have?"

"Well...based on what I'm seeing and what you said, this might just be early symptoms of the final stage. I need to run some tests more to know. I suggest you come back tomorrow so I can know the type of medication you need to be on but..."

"Neither can be cured" I finished off the sentence she trailed off on. She nodded solemnly making me sigh.

"The shot I gave you earlier will help subside the pain for now. It will resurface in a few weeks or month though. By then it will be on full force" She explained though she knew I didn't need her to tell me. It's something I know well enough.

I nodded and stood up since my abdomen no longer hurts, "Thank you" She smiled, "I'll get going now it's getting late"

She nodded, "Take care. I'll see you tomorrow"

I didn't reply as I fixed the hood back on again to cover up my face. I walked towards the door and just as I turned the doorknob, she spoke up.

"I know you won't come back tomorrow so take care of yourself"

I didn't turn back as I stepped out and closed the door behind me.

She's right though. I'm never coming back here. Hopefully, ever. This place holds too many bad memories I don't plan on digging back up.

~*~

I stare at the girl in front of me as I stood in front of the vanity table. My face looked dull and my eyes that once had a glint in them held nothing. My lips are set into a permanent frown. I can't remember the last time that I smiled. Smiling just isn't something I remember how to do anymore, or maybe, it's more like there's nothing to smile about.