Drowning Without Water - A Criminal Minds x Reader

Seven

"...fuck my head..." You groan out quietly as you quickly push your hands to your eyes. There is barely any light where you are, but it still makes your head spin.

Where... even am I? You think to yourself, trying to remember anything.

"H-hey Y/N, it's okay. You can rest as much as you'd like, you're safe here," you hear someone whisper next to you. You appreciate the hushed tone of his voice for your head but you can't figure out who it is. You try and open your eyes to look at him but as soon as you do, your head starts to spin again and you quickly cover your eyes.

"Who... who's there? Alex?" You ask in the direction of the voice. You can hear him readjust himself and his breath hitch.

"No, it's um Spencer..." Spencer? Wait, are you at his house? You force your eyes open and look around, it kills your head but you have to do it. You see him sitting on a chair next to you, concern clouding his face. You try to sit up but instantly cry out in pain.

"Y/N don't try and move, you're extremely beat up. I'll bring you whatever you need just please stay," Spencer pleads with you.

"Spence, what happened? Why am I here?" You notice Spence's face drop as you say that.

"You don't," he gulps, "you don't remember?" You shake your head and he readjusts himself, getting closer to you.
"I don't know exactly what happened but you came to my apartment. There was bruising and blood everywhere. As soon as I opened the door you collapsed in my arms. I carried you over to the couch and laid you down. I um tried to clean you up the best I could but I didn't wanna take off any of your clothes while you were passed out. That'd be... weird." You let out a small chuckle but as soon as you do, you wince in pain. You can tell Spencer isn't lying, but you can't remember what happened that made you come to him.

"I remember the restaurant. Everything was going fine and everyone loved Alex. Then you showed up and punched him and I slapped you and then Alex and I went home and... oh god Spencer. I am so sorry for hitting you." You look at his face, there was definitely a decent sized mark forming.

"It's okay Y/N. I understand how angry you must've been. I was out of line to show up and say all of that. I just... I just needed to help my friend but I clearly made things worse for you." You see tears start to form in Spence's eyes. He clearly feels guilty over what he's done, but it wasn't his fault. He doesn't control Alex. You reach up and wipe away one of his tears.

"Spencer. Look at me, please." He slowly looks over and makes eye contact with you for the first time since you woke up. You look into his light brown eyes, so full of worry and concern. He hasn't slept yet, the black circles bagging under them are much more prominent than usual, and he's definitely been crying a lot. How long have you been out? Hell, what time is it?

"This, what happened to me, is not your fault. If anything, it's mine."

"No it's-" Spence starts to interrupt you.

"It's not yours Spence. I should've known what Alex was. I profile people like him for a job, you and Hotch both warned me. I didn't remember anything so I thought he was fine. I... I remember everything. From last night and every other time. I feel so stupid for letting him do this to me."

"You are not stupid Y/N. He is a manipulative asshole who had no business being with a person as amazing as you." You feel yourself blush a bit at his comment and quickly break eye contact to stop yourself from blushing harder. You look around. You already know what his apartment looks like so you examine yourself a bit. The first thing you notice is the marks on your thigh. Spencer clearly cleaned it up a bit but the holes were deeper than you remember from the first time you looked at it. Remember. You stare at the marks. Remember. Alex. Oh god Alex.

"He's gonna be pissed..." you whisper quietly, but not quiet enough.

"He can't hurt you Y/N. Not anymore. You have a whole group of FBI agents ready to protect you." Spencer says as he grabs your hands, "you're safe here."

"Spence... he knows where you live. He has my phone and knows the password. He... he has my badge and gun." You see a bit of fear cross Spencer's face but he covers it up quickly. He gets up and walks over to a safe and opens it. Inside the small safe is the gun he normally carries and the standard FBI issued one.

You find it weird he kept both since you've never seen him carry the standard one. It's always his Smith & Wesson Model 65. You always liked that about him, since you preferred a revolver as well but stuck with the standard Glock. He always holsters his gun in front of him so he can put his hands in his pockets, something you found interesting, but also kinda cute. After a while, you started holstering your gun the same way and found it quite comfortable.

"Y/N?" Spencer snaps you out of your train of thought.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something." You see him hold the Glock out to you.

"You don't have to apologize, it's fine. I want you to take this though until we get yours back from him." You pause for a second, opening your mouth to say something but he gives you a look saying he's not changing his mind on this one, and take it from him.

"Now, you should get some rest. You're hurt really bad and need lots of rest, doctor's orders," he smirks at you and you laugh, instantly regretting it as you wince in pain. His smirk goes away as you do as it becomes clouded with worry and concern.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Food? We can watch something as well if you want. I own every season of Doctor Who if you want to start a 'binge-watch' of it with me." You smile at his air quotes around binge-watch. You look at his entertainment system and see that he does indeed own a box set of Doctor Who.

"No it's fine Spence, but I will remember that Doctor Who offer. I think I'm just gonna get some sleep, and you should too." Spencer nods as he readjusts himself in his chair and puts up the footrest. "I meant in your own bed so you can get some good sleep."

"Nope. I am not sleeping anywhere else until you're better or you're sleeping in that bed with me." He purses his lips together and closes his eyes, realizing what he just said. You feel yourself start to blush a little bit as you quickly change the topic.

"Are you um sure? Is there any way I'm changing your mind on this?"

"Nope," He says as he pops the P, clearly wanting to move on as well.

"Alrighty then. Goodnight Spence and uh thank you, for everything. I was an ass to you, I don't know why you're being so nice, especially after how I treated you at the restaurant. I'm not worth all this trouble I'm giving you..." you trail off. Spencer sits up and grabs your hands again.

"Y/N. You are not any form of trouble. You're my," he pauses for a second, "friend. You did not deserve any of this and I will do anything to help you get away from him. I don't want you hurting anymore, so please, let me help you." You nod, feeling like if you answered, he'd hear your voice crack and realize how close you are to crying. He flashes a smile and lets go of your hands to lay back. Even though the footrest is up, his feet still dangle off the edge. You felt bad he was sleeping on a chair he didn't comfortably fit on, but knew there was no convincing him otherwise.

You readjust yourself as well to try and get as comfortable as you can be. You look over at Spencer and smile. How can one person be so forgiving? Less than 24 hours ago you had slapped him, looked him in the eyes, and told him that you never wanted to see him outside of work again. And yet here he was. Taking care of you and making sure you were safe. Protecting the person that hurt him so badly a few hours earlier.

You set the gun he gave you on the table next to the couch and you close your eyes. You feel yourself drifting to sleep and just as you're about to give in to how tired you really are, you jolt awake to a knock at the door.