Wildfire ~ George Harrison

Chapter 23: Blinded eyes

Having to go through the motions with a heart this broken proved to be a whole other ball game. If I thought getting my heart broken was the worst thing that could happen to me, turning nineteen a week later with the party already planned, was worse.

Kath had taken charge of almost everything involving my birthday party, apart from the guestlist, which had been my responsibility. I had sent out the invitations weeks ago and there was no way of getting them back now.

And because I knew I couldn't face my birthday knowing that I wasn't going to speak to, or even acknowledge George, I decided to finally turn the tables and send him a letter. I left it in his mailbox on the morning of the party, when I was on my way to work and I knew he wouldn't be out of bed for another few hours.

George,

Obviously Kathleen and I are throwing a party tonight. You know this because you've been invited and you've accepted. However, this was before last week.

I want you to know that I don't want to fight tonight. I don't even want to talk about it. I am asking you to pretend that it didn't happen, that we didn't have whatever conversation we had last week and that whatever came out of it, didn't.

I know this is a lot to ask and if you can't oblige, I ask you not to come tonight. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't think so. It is my birthday after all.

You don't have to let me know what you decide. If you're there tonight, I know you've committed to pretending and if you're not there... Well, then I know you can't do that.

Thanks anyways.

Charlotte.

That was all I wrote, nothing more, no sweet words, no blankets wrapped around the truth. Nothing but the truth and nothing apart from what I wanted him to know.

It was a very bold thing to ask, I knew that. But I couldn't not ask him, because there wasn't a way in between. I couldn't face George and not be with him. That's why we had gone back to being strangers.

As soon as I left the letter in the mail slot, it left my mind. I went through a relatively normal day at work. The only thing out of the ordinary was the cake my colleague's got me at lunch time. My boss, however, seemed to have not gotten the memo and he made me stay an hour longer to type out his notes.

I was in a foul mood when I finally left the office and walked to the tube station, only to find out that there was a disruption for trains going into Central. It was freezing outside, which meant that everyone and their grandmother jumped on a bus or in a taxi instead. After being denied entry to two busses I decided to walk home. I was now officially late for my own birthday party.

By the time I made it home, I was cold and annoyed and definitely not in the mood for a party. I wanted to walk straight in and get into a warm bath and not get out until the water had turned cold or I had fallen asleep.

But it seemed like the start had aligned to make my night the worst ever. In front of the door of my flat stood a mass of teenage girls. They'd been there on and off for the past few weeks, only really growing in numbers when their favourite band was home. It looked like I had missed my slot of getting into the house without having to fight through them.

'Oh for crying out loud! Get a grip!' I cursed as I tried to push my way through the crowd. Some of the regulars, the girls who stood here day in day out, let me by, but the majority of girls didn't know me and thought I was trying to get closer to their idols, so they pushed back. 'Go home, they're not coming out for you.'

'And they will for you?' a girl of about sixteen snarled back as she pushed me back. 'You want them for yourselves.'

'Yeah,' her friend echoed. 'We were here earlier, so get in line!'