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One night, I dreamt of Zunair.
I dreamt he was wearing white and keeping a distance from me, not looking in my eyes. I was confused by his behavior, but in the dream I didn't reprimand him as I probably would have in real life. Instead, I was keeping a distance from him, too, sneaking glances at him and smiling.
And then the dream suddenly changed, in that weird way that dreams do, and a small white cat was rushing into my arms. I cuddled it, kissed it. I remember the strong feeling of delight it gave me even in the dream.
And then I woke up.
I was confused, to say the least. But I had seen Zunair, and it felt like breaking the surface of the water and finally being able to breathe.
I did some research on dream interpretations and dreams in general and found that sometimes, our subconscious spills over into our dreams. And sometimes, the day's events or thoughts also show up in our dreams. There were many more reasons, some religious as well, but I wasn't particularly interested in those.
But what surprised me was that one of the religious interpretations for a white cat was thief.
I pondered over that one for a long time, my thoughts too muddled to be able to understand it.
But then I realized something that made me forget all other things—I saw Zunair in my dream.
My heart ached for him so bad. All the time. So when I saw him that night, I vowed to constantly think of him (not hard to do), and to picture his face in my mind's eye every night before sleeping so that even if I couldn't see him in real life (because he tried his hardest to avoid me so as not to cause me more pain), I would see him in my dreams. My heart's desires could be fulfilled in those dreams.
I concentrated so hard every night before sleeping, picturing his face, his hands, his smile as tears pooled out of my eyes.
I always blamed Zunair for breaking my heart. But perhaps he only had a small part to play. Because Zunair was not the reason that my poor heart had broken, that I had been destroyed.
