once, still & forever | a Matty Healy story

Right Here - Chapter 38

Once I got to the hotel, I could feel my heart beat pressing against my chest violently, the thumps echoing throughout my ears. I was so unbelievably nervous, but I was also so determined to talk to Matty, to just be okay again.

I had shoved everything I needed in my handbag, including the passage that I had written which I ripped out of my notebook before leaving, as I wanted to give it to him, to show him all of my recent thoughts. 

I was currently on the hotel floor where his room was, walking across the long, fully lit up hallway, until I got to the number I needed. Hesitating, I reached up to knock on the door, then going against it as I remembered that George had given me his room key.

I slide the key through the lock, watching as the light turned from red to green, then opening the door slowly to see a dark room. 

"Matty?" I asked softly, walking on in to a large suite. From what I could see, there was no one was in the living room area or the bedroom, although there was light coming out from the crack of the slightly opened door of the bathroom, which was when I then heard the shower running.

I smiled to myself as I thought back to the last time I got into the shower after Matty, and the look of shock he gave me when I did, and I wanted to do it all over again. 

I chucked my bag on the large bed, the dark room being lit by warm bed lamps as I brought out the paper with my passage on it and set it on the bed, to remind me to give it to him.

I slid off my shoes, following with the rest of my clothes until I was in just my underwear, then braving it to walk into the bathroom, my heart beat was so rapid that I felt like it was almost in my throat.

I opened the door, the steam of the shower drifting out of the room as I looked at the massive shower in the corner of the room, a blurred stripe lined around it, covering the parts of Matty that I wanted to see the most. 

He was facing me, but his head was down, eyes closed, as he ran his head through the shower, the water running over his face and down his body, making my whole body tense up as I watched him, all my worries drifting away.

I shut the door behind me, the noise making his head snap up to look at me, running his hand over his face to wipe away the water as he blinked, and raised his eyebrows in shock at the sight of me.

"Soph?" he asked, his voice croaky as he looked at me with worried eyes, rubbing at them as if to see if it was actually me.

I didn't say anything as we stared at each other, while I just stood there and took in how he looked.

After a moment, I reached around to undo the back of my bra, slowly bringing it away from my body as he stood there and watched, combing his hand through his wet hair, looking at me with hooded eyes, his lips now parted.

I pushed my long hair over my shoulders, so that my breasts were in full view, and I could see Matty's chest raise up and down as he watched.

I hooked my fingers into the sides of my underwear, slowly bending to drag them down my legs, then standing to kick them off my feet, now standing before him completely naked as we both just carried on looking at each other intently.

Walking slowly over to the shower, I looked at him in full detail. His dark eyes boring into mine as I saw his cheeks were flushed, the water trailing down his chest making my insides clench even more.

I slid the shower door open, then stepping in and closing it behind me, the warm steam hitting my bare skin, still not breaking eye contact with Matty, even though I wanted to look at him all over. 

"Soph" he spoke again, his voice weak as he looked at me with emotional eyes, all while I walked up to him, reaching out and cupping behind his neck, bringing him in so I could rest my forehead against his.

His hands came up to wrap around my waist, but I could tell he was hesitant to touch me as they rested loosely around me. I ran my hand through the back of his head, lightly tugging at the hair there as I reached down to press my lips to his collar bone, giving him a hint that it was okay. His arms then tightened around me, his fingertips digging into my hips when he realised that I wasn't going to push him away.

I looked up at him again, leaning into him as our noses touched, making him look at me, his expression telling me that he was still so unsure as a thought popped to my mind.

I laughed, it passing through my lips before I could stop it as Matty furrowed his eyebrows, looking at me with confused eyes, tilting his head back to look at my expression.

"What?" he spoke, looking at me with a wary look written on his face.

"Get in the shower if it all goes wrong" I sang softly, making myself continue to smile weakly as I looked at him.

He was looking at me with such a bewildered expression, which slowly turned into a grin as he relaxed, the more he looked at me, his eyes warming instantly.

I knew that he was still being careful with me, but I honestly wanted him to be like the way he was last night, I wanted him to grab me, kiss me, show me how he felt, but instead of him doing it, I guess it was my turn.

Slowly, I moved my hands down to his chest, trailing one down his stomach as the other reached up to grab his chin, pulling him in abruptly as I placed my lips on his. He froze against me, but after a moment he kissed back, our lips moving together slowly, then hungrily.

I pushed him back until his back hit the shower wall as I pressed up against him, my breasts pressed up against his chest as his hands trailed all over my body, and I could feel my whole body react to his touch.

Biting on his lower lip, he groaned, his fingertips digging even deeper into my hips as I pulled away to look at him, his eyes dark and smouldering as he looked at me.

Pulling out of Matty's grasp, I walked back slowly and placed myself on the ledge that was in the shower, a large stone shelve that I sat up on. I looked at him as he stood with his hardened member on show, making my whole body ache for him, making me need him.

"Babe, come here" I whispered, my voice coming out as a moan as I then watched him walk over to me slowly. He nudged my legs open with his hips as he placed himself between them, then bending down to leave soft kisses across my chest, all before looking back up at me to cup my face affectionately.

"I'm sorry" he whispered sadly, his thumb grasing over my lip as he looked at me, his expression broken, "I'm so, so sorry" he continued, closing his eyes as I cupped his face to bring him into me.

"Hey, let's just forget about it, please" I spoke softly, placing a soft kiss on his lips, bringing him in even closer as the kiss grew passionate, and I could feel his arousal pressed against my leg.

In one swift movement, Matty pulled me into him by my hips, tilting me against him as he entered me at ease. It was so unexpected that I gasped out loud, taken off gaurd as I grabbed onto his shoulders, my fingers digging into them roughly as he hissed, turning me on even more.

"I thought that was it" he spoke, resting his forehead against mine as he started at an agonisingly slow pace, the moans rolling freely off of my tongue as he looked at me intensly.

"I thought I lost you" he husked, sending my emotions flying through the roof. 

"I'm here" I whimpered, my hand brushing the wet curls out of his face, "I'm right here".