WAIT FOR ME ⇾ LUKE SKYWALKER AU

chapter twelve

chapter twelve: the conflicted apprentice

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I woke up in the med-bay, surrounded by both droids and medics alike as they examined the wound on my shoulder and on my chest. The pain seemed to come shooting back all at once, causing me to cry out in agony. Immediately, the medics paused, murmuring to one another where I couldn't make out their words.

I hazily turned my head to look at a nearby droid, "What did they say?"

The male medic to my left sighed, "You are very lucky. The blast missed your heart by mere inches, but you were still out for two days."

When he paused, I heard a door swing open aggressively. Almost instantly, the medics and droids scurried out of the room. Slowly, I managed to prop myself up enough to sit up, but I regretted my decision when I saw the individual at the foot of my cot. I reached for my sabers which I remembered that I stashed back in the barracks of Delta Squad. My last memory of them came rushing back as I brought my hands back in front of me. I don't know how long I sat lost in thought, but the soft calling of my name pulled my back to reality.

        "Soyara, can you hear me?" I heard him say.

        My eyes focused to give me a clear view of my enemy's face. Strangely enough, the pridefully confident look that I last remembered was gone, replaced by the tenderness of my old friend.

        My hand laid gently on my chest, "I was shot."

       He sat on the edge of my bed, "Yes. What else do you remember?"

       I desperately tried to concentrate on the memory that was now fading, "I remember you. You were taunting me for..."

      "Ahh so you do remember," he sighed, sounding tired and worn-down.

       "Luke. Are you going to kill me?" I asked suddenly, not being able to filter my thoughts from flying out of my mouth.

       At this, he turned away, unable to look at me as he answered, "I don't know, Sor. I guess that's my father's decision."

      "Ohhh Vaderrrrrr," I slurred. I could feel myself starting to slip out of consciousness as I noticed the tube in my arm. I looked back at Luke, reaching out for his hand, which he hesitantly obliged. I began to panic as my vision became blurry, "Luke, don't leave me. Please."

        While I would later dispute whether it really happened, I swore that I felt his other hand move to cup my face gingerly, ghosting his thumb across my cheek, "I'm here, Sor. I'm here."

      My vision then completely turned to black as I lost consciousness once more. I'm here.

•••

Luke Pov

      As her body limply fell back onto the cot, I sighed deeply. I wanted nothing more than reassure her that all would work out in the end, but she was a rebel. Pilot. Rebel. Friend. Enemy. I added the word to the mental list of words for Soyara.

Since Bespin, I hadn't been able to escape the undeniable reality that I was now on the opposing side of the war. I often found myself using tactics that were considered too low for the Empire that the Rebellion had used to counteract the Empire's protocol and strict discipline. Even now, as I watched Soyara sleep peacefully, I had to remember that she was a rebel. She had snuck aboard my ship, stolen the plans, and had impersonated one of my own men. She was the enemy, yet I couldn't seem to see her that way.

She asked if I would kill her earlier. Had she meant that? Unfortunately, her life was out of my hands. Vader had promised me that her life would be spared if she came to me, which she had, in a way. Of course she'd never come willingly, as she had told me a number of times. However, she was on board now. Surely that had to count for something?

I let go of her hand and drew back my other hand from her face as I got up to leave. I had spent too much time away from my training, which I was almost sure would result in another punishment when my father returned from his holo-meeting with the Emperor, yet I wanted to stay by her side like she had asked me to. I shook my head. When she woke up, she'd be furious. The sweet Soyara I just saw would be gone as she would remember all that had occurred two days ago. She'd remember me as the villain in her mind. Of course she would. Everyone does.

I left the med-bay, deciding to train in order to clear my mind. I had so many thoughts, questions, and fears floating around in my mind that surrounded Soyara's presence. Would my father kill her? What if he alters the deal? Is there the possibility that Soyara could turn so I wouldn't have to turn her away again? What if she could see how she makes me feel when I'm around her? Would she stay?

       The sound of my saber igniting calmed me slightly as I began to run through some basic moments. Each swing of my blade brought me closer to the Force. I could feel my fears and worries strengthen me as I my swings became more complex. However, the power of the dark side of the Force only lasted for a few minutes. All of the sudden, I fell to the ground with a huff, unable to wield the dark side of the Force for too long. After training sessions like these, I found myself drained and at the point of exhaustion. The Emperor claimed it was caused by the traces of light left in me. How? Had I not given up everything to follow the Sith like my father? What light was still in me after months of training and devotion to the Sith ways?

       Growling in frustration, I rose to my feet and tried again. I had to master the dark side of the Force, it was no longer optional for me. If I was going to uphold my promise to protect Soyara, then I didn't have a choice. This was the only way to keep her safe.

       Little did I know that Vader watched from the doorway, looking into my mind as I diligently trained. He had heard every thought as if I had spoken it aloud, but he left as soon as he came, walking back towards the med-bay.