Longing

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Ast got out of bed and walked to the window. Her dorm was in one of the highest towers at Durmstrang. The sky was exceptionally clear tonight. She couldn't sleep, as usual. It had been five months since she moved away.

She looked out at the sky, the first thing that caught her attention was the almost full moon. Another cycle without Remus or the others. Oh, how she missed them. It had been too long, Durmstrang had blocked communication outside of the school. She hadn't heard from her family or friends for weeks.

She leaned back against the window sill, a single tear escaped from her eye and fell down her cheek.

Ast spotted a star, one that she had been watching since she first came back.

Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. The same one Sirius pointed out to her almost a year ago. She had been thinking about him a lot recently, well, she'd been thinking about all of them.

She watched as it twinkled in the night sky, beckoning for her to hop out of her window and fly towards it. Beckoning for her to leave Durmstrang behind and be taken back to Hogwarts. Back to James and Lily, Peter and Marlene. Back to Dorcas and Sirius. And Remus. 

Ast was hoping that maybe in another life, she was back there. In another life, where she never moved away at all.

If she had known beforehand, she would've told Remus she loved him sooner. Told James to stay being the happy boy she once knew. Told Sirius that he deserved to be loved and accepted. Told Peter that he had the heart of a lion and could do anything he put his mind to.

Maybe, in another life, she would have the chance to do it all again.

On the other side of the continent, inside of Hogwarts's highest tower sat a boy, staring at the same sky she was. This boy, with a scarred face and longing eyes, was Remus Lupin.

He tried to get back to normal, all of his other friends did. But every time Asteria's name was mentioned, he couldn't bear it. He turned to books as an escape like he always did.

She was the first person who truly made him feel loved. Sure he had his other friends, but they never had the same level of intimacy that Remus and Ast had. She was there for him and helped him get through a rough year, he only wished that he had been there for her when the whole school was against her. Looking back, he realised how much of a fool he was.

The sky was clear and the stars were as bright as ever. Sirius twinkled overhead and the moon was almost full. For a fleeting second, he wondered if there was a chance that they were watching the same sky.

But that was stupid. He was sure that Ast had moved on, found new friends, maybe even someone new to love. She was like that; always adaptable. Remus hated change. Maybe that's why he was suffering the most. Maybe it was time he moved on. The odds of them finding each other again were astronomical. It was a big world yet the space between the two was even bigger.

 

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