Mortal, But At Least I'm Free

Chapter 18

Gemma dropped food off to their room, she and Louis talked softly at the door. Harry just lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and breathing.

"Come eat Harry," Louis set their food up on the bedside table and offered Harry a spoon. He ate, but without noticing anything about his food. "Harry are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Louis. I'm okay. I promise."

"It's okay if you're not Harry. You found out a lot you didn't know about yourself today. That can definitely be unsettling." Louis wasn't going to push it, so he just let Harry eat in silence for a while. This was someone Louis cared about. He didn't want to make it any harder than it needed to be.

Harry finished eating and sat back on the bed. He didn't seem tired, but he also seemed despondent. Louis cleaned up their dishes, and took them back to the kitchen where Gemma was talking to her parents in hushed tones. They stopped suddenly when Louis came in.

"Don't stop on my account. I'll be gone soon enough," the small family looked uncomfortable as Louis walked through their small, but clean kitchen.

"Is he alright?" Gemma looked repentant for her abrasive welcome of her long lost brother.

"He will be," Louis didn't meet her eyes, just did his best to clean up after Harry and himself.

"You can both stay as long as you'd like," it was Gemma's mother who spoke this time. Louis felt the tourniquet around his heart loosen just a little.

"Thank you, that's very kind. I, um, don't think I caught your name, or your husbands actually." The whole family smiled shyly, embarrassed.

"I'm Anne, this is Robin, and you've met Gemma."

"I'm Louis," he nodded and got ready to head back to Harry. This wasn't his family, he didn't need to pretend to like them.

"Does Harry, does he need anything?" Gemma blurted her question and Louis turned back to her. Regret was heavy in her eyes.

"He needs someone to love him," silent tears made their way down Gemma's cheeks, and Louis turned away before she could see his tears to match.

Louis wiped his eyes and cracked open the doors to see Harry in the same place, staring up at nothing. He sighed and went to sit on the bed beside the long, sad, pretty boy.

"Louis, do you think I'm selfish?"

"What?" Louis wasn't expecting anything from his boy on the bed, and those were not the words we would have anticipated.

"I think I might be selfish."

"Harry, I don't think you're selfish. I think you're still learning, and I think you have been selfish. I think your quest was kind of based in selfishness."

"I don't know what to do," Harry's face was excruciating for Louis to watch. He hated it.

"Harry," Louis climbed into the bed next to him and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Look at me Harry," speaking of selfish, Louis almost couldn't breathe when Harry's glassy eyes looked up at him. "Harry, what do you want to do? What have you learned about yourself from all of this, and what has that changed? What do you want now?" Harry closed his eyes and turned his head into Louis' hand. His heart was making a racket in his ears.

"I'm not sure. I know that I can't live on Olympus alone. I know that I want to get to know my father and my sister." Harry inhaled shakily and whispered, "I know I want to spend more time with you." Harry hid his face into the blanket, and Louis continued brushing his fingers through Harry's hair. He wasn't sure how to proceed. But he knew he needed to be careful.

"I want to spend more time with you too Harry."

"Really?" The question was muffled against the bed.

"Really."

The silence that accompanied them was the scariest few moments of Louis' life. Harry was processing the new information. He looked up at Louis, who smiled back at him. Very slowly Harry readjusted himself to put his head in Louis' lap.

"Will you play with my hair some more?"

"Yeah," Louis tried to clear his throat and slowly started exploring Harry's hair, his eyes, he ran his fingers along his eyebrows. He didn't want to be weird, but he wanted to touch every part of him that Harry would allow.

"Maybe I should invite them to come back with me? To Olympus?" Harry was talking about his family again. Okay. Louis was ready to come back. He just needed a minute.

"Um, that could, uh, definitely work. If they want to."

"Do you think they'd come? I want to be friends with them."

"You don't know until you ask Harry. I'm sure you can figure out something that will work," Louis could feel his eyes drawn to Harry's neck, and the collar of his loose shirt. He was getting uncomfortable.

"Thanks Lou. I think I'll talk to them. Can I do it in the morning?" Harry looked up at Louis with sad eyes, and a small smile.

"Of course Haz, I think you should do it in the morning."

"Can we stay like this for a little while? Will you just hold me?" Louis swallowed and nodded, losing his breath when Harry kissed his hand before closing his eyes, and letting Louis run his fingers over his beautiful face.