Like you used to(Sequel to "I'd tell you I love you...")

Chapter 19

Killua and I were both sitting on the ferry, slightly tired from the fight we'd just had with the strange people. I felt myself getting more and more irritated. I just wanted to know who they were and why they were trying to hurt me and maybe Killua too.

Killua noticed me frowning and nudged me slightly.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged nonchalantly and gave him a half smile.

"I just want all this to be over. I really do. I'm annoyed and tired and I just want to get a peaceful night's sleep again. Now we're on this stupid ferry going back to Yorknew where we'll be found again, and there's nothing I can do about it." Killua sighed heavily and sat back in his chair.

"Heavy stuff. I've never seen you act like this before, like nothing's gonna get better." He looked over at me with his sapphire blue eyes, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I started to lean forward a bit, but he opened his mouth again. "Y/n... do you think the safest option is for us to split up?"

"Wh-what?" I said, taken aback completely. "Surely you don't mean that." He bit his lip and looked away.

"I'm just wondering if... temporarily, you know... it'd make these people confused. They're expecting us to stay together. So, what if we didn't?"

"You've got to be kidding me, Killua." I said, gritting my teeth slightly. "You think I can just turn around and leave you behind? After all we've been through?"

"Well it might be the only option." His voice was cold, stern.

"Do you have any idea how crazy that is? What if one of us gets killed? Ambushed?"

"Y/n, we don't have a choice." He raised his voice at me, something he's never done before. I flinched, and averted my eyes to the floor.

"Y/n..." I felt his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel this way. I-"

"Forget it." I pushed his hand away and I turned around to face away from him in my seat. "If that's what you want to do, we'll do it."

"Obviously I don't want to do it. You're being irrational." His voice had calmed down.

"Don't tell me I'm being irrational. I just want to be with you. I feel safe with you, Killua. If you tell me you want to split up, I'd rather you just said it."

"Fucking hell, what's gotten into you?" He said in exasperation. I felt him get up from his seat, slinging a backpack over his shoulder. "If you need me I'll be on the deck. Calm down and then come up, okay?" I heard footsteps and a door opening and closing, and then nothing. I turned to look at the door, and realised he really had left. Was I in the wrong? Was I letting my emotions confuse my rationality?I took a deep breath and felt my eyes start to flutter shut - I was exhausted. It'd been days since I'd slept properly. I felt myself begin to drift to sleep.

Killua's POV:

I stood by the railing on the deck of the ship with my head resting in my palm. I wanted to tell Y/n I loved her. That I never wanted to let her go. But the words didn't come when I was trying to tell her we needed to split up.

The truth is, from my fight earlier I got one of the guys to tell me someone was after both of us. That it made it easier when we started travelling together. I didn't want to tell her because I knew she wouldn't listen to me - she's stubborn like that. I thought if I made it more about my feelings, she might come to her senses. Seems I caught her at a bad time, but all I want to do is protect her. If that means I have to leave her, I guess I have to do it.

I looked down at the communication mark Y/n had left on my hand. We'd never be that far apart, right? She could just contact me.

I looked over to see two hands resting on the rail next to mine. Y/n sighed heavily and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I'm stressed about everything. I just... I need you right now, Killua. You're the only thing keeping me sane right now." Her hand rested on mine. "Please, please don't leave me."

"I said it already - I don't think we have a choice, Y/n. Don't you get it?" Her hand left mine.

"Yeah, I do. But what does that mean for us?"

"I don't really know. All I want to do is keep you safe."

"And you really think our best bet of survival is to split up?"

"It's worth a shot." She sighed again and I saw tears start to well up in her eyes.

"Okay." I turned to her and immediately pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her on her cheek. She hugged back just as tight, standing on her tip toes. We stayed like that for a while before I pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"We'll see each other soon, I promise. This is only temporary." We looked up as the captain of the ship called out that we'd arrived at Yorknew City. "Y/n, you get off the boat here. I'll stay on and get off somewhere else. You grew up in Yorknew and you have family here." She pulled me toward her and kissed me.

"I'll see you soon, Killua."

I watched as she walked across the boat with her backpack, and prayed that I'd made the right choice.

AN:

Hope you liked this chapter guys!! Sorry I left you hanging for so long. Hope you guys are having a fab December!!<3