Chapter 15

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My patience for conversation comes back over the weekend. I paste phony smiles over my face. Laugh and frown in all the right places. I tell human-friendly tales of my childhood and let my fun-loving, hardworking personality show. The emotions and interest in other people may be fake, but growing up in a palace taught me long ago how to hide my inner turmoil. I simply couldn't be bothered to put on the mask before.

I text Isaac Sunday afternoon. I don't acknowledge any of his previous messages.

'The girls want to invite the guys from Oak House round to Ash House tonight. You in?'

Apparently, I'm the only one who's actually met anyone from Oak House. The guys left cupcakes by the front door of Ash House this morning. I suspect Isaac baked them. We ate the cakes for lunch, which was when Zoey suggested a mini party tonight for the eight of us.

Isaac texts me back after only a minute.

'2 of us r in, I'll get back 2 u about the other 2. U ok?'

I think of all the lies I could tell him. All I do is text back the thumbs up emoji. I can't bring myself to use words.

A few hours later, I'm sat in the living room on a sofa with Eliza. Zoey and Megan have squashed up on the other sofa. There's space for one guy to squeeze onto each sofa, and we've brought in two chairs from the dining room. We have glasses of wine and bottles of beer on the coffee table, along with a large bowl of sweets.

"If you had to be an animal, what would you be?" Megan asks casually, before popping a sweet into her mouth.

"I think everyone can agree I'd be a puppy." Zoey answers. "Maybe a Jack Russell Terrier. They're really cute."

"I'd quite like to be a butterfly. To have beautiful wings that could carry me away wherever I wish to go. To be small enough to only be found when I want to be." I mean the words I say.

"I was going to say a bird, but I like your idea better." Megan says.

"I think I would enjoy being a cat." Eliza joins in.

"Yeah, sleeping all day and getting cuddles from everyone does sound..." The doorbell cuts Zoey off. "The boys are here!" She exclaims eagerly as she jumps up and rushes to the door. "Come in. We're all in the living room." Eliza, Megan, and I have a giggle as we listen to Zoey the excitable puppy.

Zoey walks back into the room, followed by Isaac and three other guys. Isaac sits down next to me, so I'm sandwiched between him and Eliza.

We all do our introductions. The guy who sits next to Zoey on the other sofa is Dan. Ryan and Austin are perched on the other chairs.

An evening of light-hearted conversation ensues. Discussions range from pets to dream careers. Families to films. Pet peeves to favourite things. I join in.

Isaac keeps giving me questioning and concerned looks. He keeps a comforting hand over one of my legs throughout most of the evening. I neither remove it nor lean into his touch.

"Nothing can compare to a live show though." Eliza says as conversation turns to music. "The atmosphere and sounds are incredible."

"I'm perfectly happy to put on a playlist on my phone." Austin replies.

"No. I'm with Eliza." Isaac argues. "There's something special about hearing the music played live."

"Yeah. And I love getting all dolled up for festivals." Megan agrees.

"I really enjoy going to concerts, but I'm not so sure about festivals." I join in. "I've never actually been to one before."

"OMG! I totally need to take you to one this year." Zoey gets really excited.

"I guess I'm outvoted." Austin sounds defeated.

"Nah bro. I'll stay in with you if Isaac wants to go out with the ladies." Ryan pipes up. "Who are you staying with, Dan?"

"I'm not taking sides. But I'd go out if I really wanted to see someone."

"Outnumbered six to two." Isaac chuckles. His face turns serious as he looks at me. "Can I have a private word, Ally?"

"Um, sure."

He takes my hand and leads us out the room. I hear a wolf whistle and the following laughter.

"Some people seem to be getting a little too friendly." I hear one of the guys say. My face turns red even though there's nothing going on between me and Isaac. At least in the way that's being insinuated.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Isaac questions when we sit down at the dining room table.

"No." My hands cover my mouth. "I didn't mean to say that."

"Truth potion." He holds up an empty vial.

"You spiked my drink! You know I could share dangerous secrets! How long will it last?" I hiss.

"An hour." He checks his watch. "But there's only, like, forty five minutes left. Now tell me how I can make you feel better."

"You can't. This is my business, not yours."

"But it's all fixed now, right? Even it hasn't ended well."

"No. It's nowhere near fixed. And I don't have a clue what I can even do. Everything's wrong and I'm not even sure if it can ever be right again. Now leave me alone." I try to walk back to living room, but Isaac pulls me back

"You need someone close to you who knows the truth. Whether or not you'll admit it. And the potion only prevents you from lying. Don't speak if you don't want anything to be heard."

"You tell me now." I grumble.

"Well, I had hoped to get something useful from you."

"I have secrets far too valuable for some petty pity party. You don't understand what's at stake here. This isn't some game, Isaac."

"Then help me understand what's really going on." He pleads.

"The less you know, the safer you are."

"Now you're the one playing word games with me."

"Maybe you see it that way, but I couldn't say the words if they weren't true. Be wise and drop the subject." I push up from the table.

This time, Isaac lets me walk away from the conversation. He follows me back to the group.

This time, there is no hand on my leg when we sit back down. I miss his touch.

This time, something inside me has cracked open. My emotions have returned, just a little bit.

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