Jocelyn's River

Jocelyn's River: Chapter 16

                          Jocelyn Smith's Point of View

        To be so close to River on the Ferris wheel car was entirely overwhelming and it was almost unbearable.  Riv, my stuffed bear sat on my lap and River sat next to me and was undiscerning of how I felt.  If he lost his restraint a second time, I do not think I would beg him to stop.  All this time I had been holding back and resisting because I didn't want anyone to get hurt.  Stanley was a sensitive man. 

            Indeed, the world was evolving.  Although, I knew that everyone had not been cured of the racism bug.  I watched Dr. King's speech back in 1963 and thought that a difference would be made, but hate was still the worse poison.

             Suddenly, I heard River sigh and along with that sigh, he lifted his arm and placed it behind me on the top edge of the seat.  He looked straight ahead as he did this.  I was not sure if there was a reason behind his action.  The ride conductor instructed us to keep our hands inside the Ferris wheel car at all times.

            “Have you been enjoyin' yourself?” River asked.

            I looked over at him and like always, I felt that I would melt under his blue-green gaze.  “Um-hm,” I replied.  “I appreciate what you're doing.”

            “Anything for you.”

            Nervously, I bit my bottom lip and looked away.  He was such a good man.  It made it that much harder for me to want to go back to Stanley.  I was torn.

            “How old were you when you first got on one of these?” he asked.

            “Well....I've never actually been on a Ferris Wheel before.”

            “Never?”  he responded in a shocked tone.

            “Never,” I repeated.  “I'm just like Sadie.  I've never even been to a carnival.”

            “Are you kiddin' me?  Why didn't ya say somethin'?  We would've got on more rides together.”

            “Because it's not about me,” I said.  “Sadie has to live in a house where her parents are always quarreling.  She needed to get away from that.”

            “I wish I had someone like you when my old man was still around,” he explained.  “My uncle was living in California then, so he couldn't take me away from it and go fishin' as much.”

            “I've been meaning to ask you something,” I mentioned after a long pause. 

            “Yeah?” he responded patiently.

            “I just didn't want you to get sad,” I whispered.  “What are you going to do after...you know.”

            “That's alright,” he chuckled.  “You coulda' said it.”

            “I was trying to be considerate.”

            “I know,” he answered and I looked at his face to see him smiling at me.  “After she dies, I plan to move to Brentwood, California and follow in my uncles footsteps by starting my own business as a mechanic.”

            “So, that's what he was doing while he was there?” I asked.

            “Yep, but it ain't work out to well for him so he came back.  I've got faith in myself, though,” he said.