24. blood and tears

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♦Alpha Adrian ♦

As I held on her my heart calmed and warmth filled me. For a moment I thought I lost her. When she was gone the feeling of something wrong happening to her was chopping my soul with each breath I took. Until I saw her face my brain was clouded with all sort of fucked up thoughts. I tightened my arms around her.

And just when she came in my sight, finding her being hurt, bleeding, I immediately felt like murdering someone. Rage slowly started to spread through my cells. But when her eyes met mine I saw it. Her pain. Her fear. And it just sprinkled a fist full of salt on my bleeding heart.

"You're bleeding,"

Her soft voice reached me and I felt her finger delicately graze on my nape and then her fingers run in my head as if searching for something. As I hear her gasp I snuggled more into her lap. Zedd purred in my head. I didn't know if she'll again want to touch me. I wanted to savour every bits she gave me. Every scrap she would throw at me I would happily accept.

I tightened my grip around her and snuggled further more in her lap. I didn't know when would she throw me away.

'She doesn't want me. Doesn't love us, that's why she ran away.' Zedd said painfully.

"Adrian, your h-head is ble-bleeding" she said in a trembling voice.

Yes. I know I am bleeding. But what pains me is the emotional bleeding. Maybe the hurt that I'm causing you for my selfishness will always return me this pain.

"I am sorry," she whispered.

I pulled my head up and her palm stays on my nape. I gaze in her mesmerizing orbs. I couldn't convince myself to let go. I let my arms hold her.

"I am hurting you and you're saying sorry."

Tears had now dried up on her flushed cheeks. Her eyes still glassy though. Her forehead wounded, blood that flowed out roll on her right eyebrow to side of her eye crease was now dried up.

"If you know you're hurting me why don't you let me go?"

Her words held both sadness and anger. He gaze strong. I had no answer of her question. So I just stood up and her hand on my nape falls down on her lap. I walked two steps back and she visibly falls weak.

"Please...let me go," she spoke with tears prickling her eyes.

Looking at her in this state my heart broke into million pieces but I couldn't move a step from my place. I was frozen on my state. I wanted to hold her super tight in my embrace but she wouldn't like it. I just looked at her from distance holding my ground.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she brings both her palms between her knees joined together, thumbs caressing over each other uncomfortably.

'She's overthinking everything and causing herself pain.'

'I don't know how to stop her.'

She looked at the ceiling to keep the tears from fall down her eyes but the tear formed in her eye rolled down her cheek. She miserably tried to control her sob but couldn't and hurriedly swiped the tears off her cheeks.

"P-please Adrian," her crying voice was piercing my soul.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, sniffling slightly but making it as quiet as she could.

"I'm not made for this," tears never stopped as she spoke, she shuddered, "h-here... I am feeling suffocated!" She sobbed and tried to wipe tears off her face with both her hands.

'Please don't cry.' Zedd whispered.

Her face was flushed, her nose and cheeks red cause of crying. I made her cry. I'm making her cry constantly. She is suffocating here. I'm hurting her. I dropped my gaze on the floor as I can't look her in the eyes anymore. I don't have any powers left in my body to stand here watch her breaking.

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