bakugoxreader I'm worthless

Part 9: Irrelevnt

Trigger warning

So after a few days of training with the nUmBeR 2 hErO I realize that he's an absolute bitch. The first day we spent training 15 hours no stops no breaks no nothing even when I was on the floor throwing up completely beaten he couldn't care less and said and I quote "if you want to marry my son you cant be weak" ha like I wanted to marry his son I just hate it here 🤜😁

Anyways

Haha....

Today we where out for some patrolling honestly really boring I was had my hero costume which was um revealing and bunch of grown ass men couldn't stop staring which grossed me out and made me question my decisions haha... so okay we where walking around all day it was hot as fuck and I generally couldn't breath it was silent extremely silent and I couldn't help but feel like a burden like it was clear non of us wanted to be there the lack of communication me and todo had ever since we arrived for the internship didn't help either I didn't know what he wanted we hadn't talked about it and it was really starting to bug me. I know that todoroki isn't someone that that shares his emotions he's hard to crack but still i needed to talk to him see if we where in the same page maybe come up with a plan to not get married my thoughts where interrupted when all of a sudden he stopped dead in his tracks and was looking at his phone with a shocked expression he told us a address and then he left nomus where all of a sudden coming out of no where attacking citizens scary man told me to fight them they started coming at me I was making Minnie tornados that dug into them and burst thrue them from the inside

I literally don't know how to describe fight scenes sorry lol

And I repeated that until there where no left then endeavor and me headed to the address and there was deku lida and todo with the hero villain tied up

Of course that's what it was about

Ha

Wow

Then a nomu came and took deku the hero killer saved him something about deku being a true hero or something like that wasn't really listening then there where police cars they took him away everything was going by so fast like i still couldn't process this shit um sooo then the bOyz where taken in a hospital and I was outside waiting for like an explanation or something the police was talking to them or something I was just waiting then they literally told me to leave which only showed just how irrelevant I was

Irrelevant

A thought I've been thinking about a lot

How irrelevant I  was  in life

How irrelevant I would be if I continue

I mean would anything really change if I was just gone

If I marry icy hot I would be the irrelevant trophy wife

If I was gone it wouldn't change anything

It wasn't a good feeling but that's what I was thinking the bad thoughts made me think about something that was also bugging me

2 week without throwing up

I had a therapist now

Someone was there for me

Someone actually cared

Why do I still feel empty?

Why am I still lacking motivation?

Why do I still feel fat ugly irrelevant?

Cause the problem was still there it was deeper than just stopping it was something else but I still don't know why