bakugoxreader I'm worthless

chapter 3: true events with author chan

⚠️TRIGER WARNING⚠️
I has back at it again in my bathroom sticking my fingers down my throat but nothing cane out wich was fucking weird since I had purposely ate a bunch of chips really fast so I could you know blaaaaa but no -i the fuck I went to my kitchen and grabbed 2  waters I chugged one and went back to my bathroom to try again...nothing why why WHY why cant I just throw up I looked at the mirror I was huge my stomach was bloted and I couldn't even throw up I hated it my face was chubbier I was just discusting I break down completely I was crying I dont know why I was crying because I was hurting myself and it hurted or because I hated myself and it hurted I was just crying crying in the floor of my bathroom really loud too my breathing was hard my face was red i was just...ugly lol just I was about to chug the second water I heard the door my parents came back from their walk...why NOW why at the time where I'm fucking hurting myself why at the time I'm crying on the floor because I hated myself yesterday my parents where talking about how I changed I was sad all the time never left my room fuck my parents even heard me crying they brought up therapy and I was like fuck no I mean it would be nice to know what the fuck I was feeling why I felt empty sad alone why I hated myself I clearly had something wrong with me but my biggest fear was I had nothing wrong with me I was just asking for attention I questioned my actions reminded myself that I'm hurting myself but I didn't care I couldn't stop but as soon as I heard my parents I paralyzed I wiped my tears cleaned my fingers got up and left

(AUTHORS NOTE:haha this is a true event it happened 5 min ago dont lecture me about how he I'm hurting myself and I'm beautiful...I dont feel that way)

I walked in class remembering what happened last night I didnt do my homework I had lost my motive I didn't want to... do anything I had been training with baku for the past couple weeks and today was the day the sports festival or whatever my dream was to be a hero I had a fucking path god dam it I had everything set up so I can have a future and now....now for god fucking sakes I can barely get out of bed have no fucking energy throw up like a lunatic and I I just want to fucking cry

Eraser head: Alright class today is the sports festival try your best or what ever I'm going to go back to sleep

Bakugo: you seem down what happend

Me: I'm good bakugo I dont want to fucking talk about it

Bakugo: you arent good yn what up

Me: leave me The FUCK alone baku

Bakugo: Yn

Me: LEAVE ME BE GOD DAM IT

I storm out I cant help it I'm suffering here I'm SUFFERINGand he doesnt know that but but he should right I mean I'm making it so so obvious I just I want to

Bakugo: LOOK YOU DAM EXTRA YOU WHERE THE ONE WHO WAS BOTHERING ME THE FIRST DAY YOU WHERE ASKING ME SO NOW YOURE GOING TO TELL ME WHATS WRONG

Me: I'm okay dont you get it

Tears start falling

Me: I'm good baku I'm just over reacting

Bakugo: look yn you're crying you're not good tell me what's wrong

Me: no

Bakugo: please

Me: no

Bakugo: please

Me: no

Bakugo: ple-

Me: its nothing I've just *sniff* lost motivation I feel down baku like why try if we are all going to end up in the same place

Bakugo: where

I start crying harder with a very serious voice I reply to his stupid ass question

Me: dead

Bakugo: what are you

Me: look bakugo were going to be LUCKY to even make it to be a hero theres a possibility that we dont even get that far but what if we do right...no one is going to remember us or our hard wok so why even try

Bakugo: why are you saying all of this yn are you

Me: I had this...this fucking path I was supposed follow every thing laid down for me but why even try if I'm not going to be perfect

Bakugo: Yn what the fuck are you talking about dumbass have you looked at yourself lately you're beautiful you're perfect now who the FUCK put that in your head so I can beat their ass

Me: no no baku I'm not

Bakugo: yes you're

Me: IM NOT OKAY I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT TO DEAL WITH NOW LEAVE ME ALONE

He hugs me and I start crying harder and fuck I really needed that hug I sobbed into his shoulder and dropped to my knees he dropped with me and still held me I held his shirt really tight and I just sobbed

Eraser head: what are you oh...

I get up really quickly whipe my tears

Me: I was just haha haha we where rehearsing for a play

Bakugo: why the fuck

Me: shut up

Eraser head: alright what ever um get to class okay and

Me: ight

I start walking but baku grans my hand and pulled me in

Bakugo: if you let an extra beat you because you don't care anymore yn...I'll find you and I'll kill you

Me: okay but make it quick

He slapped me right across the face
Honestly kinda sweet moment

Bakugo: stop it my bestfriend should be in the final 3

Me: ight baku what ever

I chuckled and I sided hugged him and started walking together into our wonderful class

Denki: so what where you 2 love birds doing

Ok why the fuck did I start to blush

Bakugo: SHUT UP EXTRAZ

Me: denki go stick your head up jiro ass okay

Jiro: oh HELL nah

We sit back at our desk and talk about stupid shit like what we want for Christmas and who we liked and shit like that

Bakugo: are you sad cuz half and half doesnt like you

Me: Maybe

Bakugo: awww

Me: No no you got it all wrong I'm sad cuz someone doesnt like me but its not half and half

Bakugo: who

Me: bitch I ain't telling you

Bakugo: tell me so I can beat their ass

Me: their face is to pretty so you can break

Bakugo: tell me

You fucking asshole

Me: its noah centinao

Bakugo: EW you like the Netflix kid

Me: yes hes um cute

Bakugo: you're a fucking dumbass

Me: got it from you

Eraser head: alright change into your hero costumes the sports festival will start in 30 min

FUCK