From Victim to Lover

Gillferd

9 years later...

Bella's POV ( If you don't remember read frenemies) 

As I sit here watching the women who is supposed to be my mother push her kids on the swing I begin to wonder why I wasn't good enough to keep. There is my reason, I think, looking as her husband pushes their daughter on the swing. He probably forced her to get rid of me because I am not his. Spencer Reid how my hate for you is growing. I look down to see Gillferd eating berries off a bush "Oh Gillferd you really are a jack of many trades but at least you know how to survive in the wild." I say picking up my racoon.  

"I've never seen you before. My family lives right over there. Why are you here? This is a no parking zone between the hours of 4pm-8am it's around 4:30 which means you can't park here." I turn my head and see Hannah's son standing at the window of my car smiling. "Ummm, my mom lives around here I am waiting for her. She has a doctors appointment." I say looking at him. "Jason let's go get in the house." Hannah says stepping outside "Oh okay well that's my mom. She's paranoid because her and dad for the FBI and she doesn't want us getting hurt. Well hope your mom is okay bye now." he says waving at me as Hannah closes the door more anger starts to fill me and I drive away feeling hopeless. 

I stand in the grocery store watching Hannah and her family shop, each time I go to approach her my anxiety rises and my mind wonders so I back off. Bella she's your mom don't be scared. I watch her smile at her husband as he takes the kids to go get ice cream. I walk up and run my cart into hers giving me a reason to talk to her. "I am so sorry. I really didn't mean that." I say looking up at her she smiles kindly and responds "That's perfectly fine. I like your blouse" I smile back at her slightly. Does she not recognize me? I mean it has been 9 years. "I am sorry to bother you again. I'm new to the area and I have a really bad problem with people who are in a position of power over me such the workers here so talking to them gives me anxiety cause I feel like they are judging me, I'm sorry I'm rambling let me get to the point. Ummmmm, do you know where I can find the spanish seasonings? My mom needs it for dinner and if I don't get home soon she will have my head." I ramble she looks away and back at me answering "I totally understand." she looks back at me innocently "The seasonings are right down in aisle 4 on the right side about half way down." she smiles. "Thank you. Ummm you look a lot like-" and I lose her attention by the presence of her family laughing and heading towards us. I fall back into the shadows as she turns back to where I was just standing "I'm sorry. I look like who? Umm okay then?" she asks looking around and walking away. 

I get home and stare at the pictures of Hannah and her family that are plastered on my walls, not an inch shown anywhere of bare wall. I look in the mirror, holding an image of Hannah smiling and compare it to my features in the mirror. "I can see that we have the same hair and we have the same eyes and we stand the same and our skin is the same." I say staring at her picture. Gillferd wanders up and sits at me feet I bend down and pet my racoon my thoughts wondering to the events in the store earlier today. I am offended that she didn't recognize me, or maybe she did and was too scared to say something.  What makes me different from her kids now? I am a genius too ya know her kids are nothing special. The kids didn't do anything wrong, innocent little 1 year old me didn't do anything wrong. I look at the first picture I found of Hannah, it was off of the internet on some journal page she wrote about psychopaths. I think back to the first time out she was my mother and how angry I was that she gave me up to a serial killer. 

*Flashback*

I know Rachel is trying her best to take care of me but anything she says goes in one ear and out the other. I am 16 and don't need to be taken care of anymore. I know there is something different about me, I don't feel apart of this family I never have I can feel it there is something off. "Bella I think you're old enough to know this. Can you come out of your room so we can talk." My aunt asks knocking on the door. I exit the door and look at her. She looks at me with sadness in her eyes and I assume whatever she is about to tell me has to go along with the feelings i've been having in my gut.